My Collection of One Shots
by AlwaysCastle
Summary: Because in the end they are still standing on either side of the stage. One will exit stage right, the other left. And both will be unsure of how the story really ends.
1. Cat Person

**Hello fellow Castle fans! It's been a little while since I posted a fanfic. I have had nothing in me, for a fanfic or for my own book. But I did realize that after I wrote my last few Castle Fanfics, it had the creative juices flowing and I had mad inspiration for my Book that I am currently working on (writers block). SO! Here is what I am thinking. I Would love to hear any ideas you guys have for a one shot. Just give me the general Idea and title you wish. I'll write it if I like it, and post it with your name as inspiration. I don't know how many I will do, or when I'll get them out. But I promise I will get some out before Monday.**

**Criteria:**

Title and Idea

Nothing past Rated T

Any Genre except maybe syfy and Poetry. I'll even do a song fic.

Your Patience

Only Caskett related

Nothing that would obviously be too far fetched for the pair. I like to stick to character as best As I can.

Don't really need a time-line unless you want one.

**Length may very. That's about it. I start this off with an Idea I have had in my head since I re watched the one where Agent Shaw says Beckett is obviously a cat person.**

_**Cat Person**_

Detective Kate Beckett pulls up to the latest crime scene and tugs her scarf tighter around her neck as she gets out of her Crown Vic. The Freshly fallen snow peppers the ground in the partially deserted street, the wind picking it up and playing with it now and then. With a sigh and a thrust of her freezing hands into her coat pockets, Kate makes her way to the scene. The yellow tape up ahead and the flashing red and blue lights leading her down the slippery street, heels clicking echoing throughout the area, surprisingly making her feel quite alone and forlorn. And then she sees Castle. A smile she tries to control spreads across her face, which she dials back in when she reaches him.

Rick Castle stands shivering against the cold, back to her, and shoulders shrugged up to his ears which are covered by blue earmuffs that match his scarf. His eyes are trained on the scene...that is until he hears her familiar walk and the clicking of her heels over the rushing breeze and winter chill. Turning towards her Kate lets out a low delightful moan when she sees he has two large coffees ineither hand. She reaches out, like a little kid would for a bar of chocolate in that "gimme" sort of wayworthy of Castle himself. He grins, his smile reaching those dazzling blue eyes and hands her the cup,unconsciously moving closer for warmth.

Kate closes her eyes on the first sip, feeling the hot beverage steam it's way down and warming her up instantly. She has this unmistakable smile playing on her lips she doesn't let escape often, but then schools it once she realizes that Castle is watching her in the creepy way of his. Her face grows serious instantly and she turns away from him and towards the scene. She spots Lanie huddle in the corner of a building by the front entrance to a trashing looking apartment complex.

"What have we got?" The female detective asks, walking by Esposito who's getting a statement from a leery looking man in a ratty old pea coat.

"Three gun shots." Lanie claps her purple latex hands together to warn off the cold and points to the first gunshot. "two to his chest." She looks up at her friend with a shiver and than stands up, pointing to the other gunshot. "This last one seems pointless." She removes her gloves with difficulty and bury her cold hands into her pockets.

"Suggest a crime of passion." Kate jumps a little at how close Castle's voice is to her ears. He's standing directly behind her and she can feel his arm brush her back.

Lanie looks back at the victim, a middle age man with half his face blown off and two more bullets to the chest. There is no doubt in anyone's mind that this man pissed someone off to be shot enough times to ensure he's dead. "Not much else I can do here until we get him to the morgue."

"Thanks Lanie." Kate watches her walk off and men start getting the body ready to be moved.

Ryan walks down the steps of the building and makes a colds sound through his teeth. "Guy was confronted out here, nothing to suggest his attacker was inside." He starts.

"Okay... I'll meet you back at the precinct." Kate says realizing there really isn't much else to do here. And she's glad, she's freezing her ass off She takes another view gulps of her coffee, "Hey Castle?" She turns around every which way but doesn't see him right off. She swears he was attached to her hip this entire time. She soon spots him across the way at a dumpster. "Castle!" She yells to him and he turns around, his hand inside the front of his coat.

He jogs over to her and holds his coat closed. "Going back?"

"Yea you comin?"

He only nods too cold to speak and the two of them walk back to the car as quickly as possible. In the car Kate doesn't waste anytime turning the heat way up. She glances at Castle, who has this strange look on his face and then focuses on driving through the busy street of New York. At a red light she chances another glance at him to find him looking into his coat suspiciously. Her brow furrows and she has top look away again when the light turns green. And then she hears it. A tiny little mew over the sound of the heat blasting.

"Castle?" Her voice is warning.

"Yes?"

"What do you have in your coat?" She peers over at him eyebrows raised but also very curious. The man sitting in the passenger seat may annoy her most often, but he's also intriguing.

"Nothing." He says in the most honest way he can. And of course the detective doesn't by it.

"Give it up Castle."

"It's so cold outside!" He starts, unzipping his coat all the way and a little calico head pokes out of his armpit. "I couldn't just leave her all alone to die out there!"

Kate's heart reaches out for the poor little kitten but she doesn't let it show. Instead she makes a tisk sound and turns away to focus on the road. Yet her attention is divided because Castle is talking quietly to the kitten who in turn cries out every now and then. Kate doesn't say anything else until they reach the precinct and are in the elevator. She can't help but glance at the cute little head that rests on Castle's coat zipper.

"What are you going to do with him?"

"Her."

"Fine, what are you going to do with _Her_?"

"I don't know yet, maybe I'll keep her." He says cooing the kitten and rubbing her little ears.

Kate raises an eyebrow and steps out of the elevator walking to her desk where she flops down in her chair with an exasperated sigh. She's happy to find the bullpen toasty warm, warmer than her apartment actually, and with much better coffee in the break room. Speaking of coffee... She looks into her empty cup after removing her coat, scarf and gloves and frowns into it.

"Would you like some more?" Castle observes from his seat, one leg crossed over the other and the little kitten sniffing his nose from her place on his chest. Kate has to admit he's adorable..the kitten. the kitten is adorable.

"Sure, thanks Castle." She says with a tiny smile, and then frowns when he gets up, placing thekitten in her lap.

"Just watch her for a sec." He implores pleading with his eyes before disappearing into the break room.

The Kitten mews, and Kate looks down at her with an un expected maternal feeling. Again the kitten mews. Kate picks her up and checks her over. Other than the fact that she's too young to be away from her mother, and a bit skinny, she's okay. Cold but okay. The kitten is fluffy and calico, with orange tabby on one side of her face, while the other is all Black. A small white line splits the colors in half between the eyes and down her chin and neck all the way down her body. Her tail is mostly black with a splash of orange on the tip. She's so cute. Kate searches around her, eying everyone and making sure Castle isn't around before she hugs the kitten to her.

"You poor little thing." Kate whispers, feeling the kitten shiver against her cheek and then burrow into the crook of her neck where she then stays. Kate smiles to herself, and than turns to her computer, quite comfortable with the kitten cuddle against her skin, also warming her up.

"I knew it." Castle says standing beside her desk. She didn't even know he was there or how long he's been standing there watching her.

"You don't know anything." She says. Carefully taking the offered steamy cup of delicious coffee from him and focusing only on the hot liquid inside. She doesn't want to meet his eyes because he's right, and doesn't want to give him the satisfaction.

"Fine then give little Beckett back." He says, sitting in his chair and reaching out.

"Little Beckett?" She asks un impressed, but leans away from him. Not wanting to give her up.

He smiles wickedly at her. "I knew you were a cat person."

**I really cannot see her with any sort of dog for some reason. Maybe a cat, but that's also**

**hard to imagine as well. But She's more a cat person than dogs I think. I don't know. Anyway,**

**What did you think? And if you are interested, ideas are always welcome! Looking forward to it!**


	2. Half of My Heart

** So far no Takers in giving me Ideas... I don't know how that makes me feel. Haha. So I**

**came up with my own idea while on the treadmill for 8 miles trying to walk off this sinking lost**

**sort of feeling I have had lately. Did it work? In a way yes. I didn't reach full break down but I**

**am still kind of out of it and..I just don't know. Soooo, Here is Kate, doing what I just did.**

_**Half of my heart**_

It's all she can think of doing as the toll tail signs of a breakdown slither through her veins towards her heart. She body quivering as a start. She wasn't really doing anything. She got home maybe any hour ago and was just getting ready to make dinner when it hit her. In this raw sort of way that can just sneak up on a person with no warning or no real reason for it to happen in that moment. And then that lump forms. The one that always decides that the right time to overwhelm her is actually the wrong time. She doesn't want to. Kate Beckett does not want to give into these feelings she's been fighting against for so long. But they've won. They have truly won and the only way she knows how to stop them is by letting a few of them through. Just to get some out of her system, and then run like hell.

But something goes terribly wrong. As she laces up her running shoes, hands shaking so much she's growing frustrated...a sob escapes. That's not supposed to happen. She's only supposed to shed a few tears and then run the rest off. But she's lost track over herself with these god damn laces, and they all come crashing out like a wave of pure unadulterated emotion. She can't see anymore, and she furiously wipes at her eyes as she gets up from the sofa. Shoes finally tied she grabs a light jacket, tears streaming down her face, and jogs out the door. She tries desperately to dial back in, but it's hopeless. She takes the stairs, picking up speed and hits the streets outside at a dead run. There will be no pacing herself.

Everything she could possibly imagine comes spilling out, Through her tears, and her hiccuping sobs that make it hard to breath, and her legs. Which propel her so far forward she has no idea where she's going or when she will stop. But she doesn't care, because she can't feel it. Its like she feels nothing and everything all at once and her body doesn't know what to do with the confusion so it evacuates everything it can all at one time. All this time she's has just been going through the motions. Dead on her feet but with a fake persona. Acting like everything is right in the world when in her reality, nothing is going right and she can't find that medium. She can't find that balance between living and standing still. And is she really standing still, or is everything like life and love and happiness speeding by her and she hasn't noticed? Where has she been all this time? Who is she? Has she ever known, even just a little? Because after all these years of believing she's Detective Kate Beckett, Avenger of her mothers murder...She just doesn't know anymore – Because she can't even do that. How is she going to find her happiness if she can't even do that? How is she supposed to move on with her life, let herself love that one person she knows she's fully capable of giving her whole heart too, if she can't accomplish the one thing that made her think she's the person she is today?

It's like she's only using half of her heart; and the other piece is lost somewhere and she can't find it. At first she was beginning to see it, feel it again -if she ever knew what that felt like...- In the form of a man that made her feel even just a tiny bit whole before she even met him. Now...sadly, not even he is enough it seems. Because if he was, why does she feel this way? Why is she running from everything with an unbearable ache in her chest and a hole in her very soul? Why does she want to slip into the crowd unnoticed and never want to be seen again? Kate shakes her head, shedding the last of her tears and now running blindingly into nothingness. It's not until she feels a vibration in her pocket does she come back to reality and come to a much slower jog. Pulling her phone out of her pocket she check her messages.

One. From Castle.

Kate wipes a hand over her brow and looks around after reading it. _Where are you going? _ It says. She blinks the wetness still lingering in her sad green eyes and pants.- Bending over slightly while holding the phone over her chest to catch her breath. She ponders on whether or not to answer him. He's obviously seen her run by him, wherever he is. She doesn't see him in the immediate vicinity and finds she's panicked and a little excited to seem him at the same time. In the middle of the sidewalk she texts him back truthfully.

_I don't know. _

There is a long pause where she's unsure if he's going to respond, or just doesn't know what to say. Which would be a first. In the mean time she stretches out a little and comes to realize how chilly it actually is. The cool Autumn hair clings to her now sweaty exposed skin, and she has to untie her jacket from around her waist and put it on. Her phone vibrates in her hand. Butterflies enter and exit her heart in a matter of milliseconds.

_Meet me at the park?_

A breeze picks up, sweeping her hair out of her eyes and she breathes in the scent of the season into her now steady body. Pretty leaves of various colors flutter all around her, and she closes her eyes before texting him back.

_Be right there._

Kate starts to walk back in the other direction to find that she's only a block from the park and he must already be there. So when she enters the park and looks around, she finds him sitting leisurely on a swing by himself. It's that part of the day where everyone is still working or home cooking meals for their families, so the park is pretty much deserted. The creaking of the rusty chain filters over all other sounds as she makes her way closer. And then that smile graces that handsome face of his. The one that only reaches his eyes when she's around. She wonder's briefly to herself how he does it. How he can push everything else aside for that one moment and show a happiness she's not capable off.

"Hey Castle." She says, looking down at the ground as she picks the swing beside him. She grips the chain tightly and pulls herself back a little, but not letting herself swing forward.

"Hey yourself." He says. She doesn't meet his gaze. The one she knows all to well, the one that breaks through her walls and reads her every emotion. Yet she knows he can do just that, with her lack of eye contact.

"It's cold." She comments, not knowing what else to say and for some reason finding this situation awkward. Why is it so awkward? It's just them. But for some reason she's having a hard time just being Castle and Beckett anymore.

Something happened to them. And she knows exactly when that happened. She can hear the forced smirk in his voice when he speaks. "Glad to see your keen eye for observation is still in tact my dear Detective." He quips, almost imploringly, but she doesn't react at all.

She knows when things became more difficult to act like a normal person around him. And that was when she was lying on the grass bleeding to death. When tears were leaping to his eyes and he told her he loved her. And she can't take that back for him. She's not sure she wants to, but she doesn't know what to do or how to act around him. She didn't even tell him that she remembers. That she heard him before she slipped out of consciousness. But she thinks, that perhaps he knows this. Knows that she heard him and that is why she doesn't know what to do with herself when she's around him. And they have hardly been around each other until recently. In fact. This is their first time actually alone with each other since she got out of the hospital.

"Kate?" His voice is low and worried.

She looks at him than, this whole time her gaze has been locked on a stray leaf, stuck against the pole of the swing set while the wind tries to force it free. She gives him the slightest of smiles. But her eyes condone her inner turmoil. For that brief moment, his eyes startle her... jolting her whole heart to life.

**You know... I like this. I wasn't going to go there, but it just happened. And I am actually quite satisfied. I hope you all liked it, Reviews are always appreciated :D And I'd still like to know your ideas. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Stop and Stare

**I wasn't going to do this, but I wrote it at work this weekend, and there are still 8 hours and 20 minutes (Exactly as I write this) And I need something to do while I wait. Still waiting for Ideas! come on readers! **

**Anyways, This particular acoustic was inspired by this video: h t t p : / / w w w . y o u t u b e . c o m / w a t c h ? v = p k 1 1 K W F M Z y 0**

_**Stop and Stare**_

Castle stands outside Kate's door. He hasn't seen her since she got out of the hospital almost 3 months ago. The new captain told her she needed time off. He just didn't think she'd take that time off from him as well. Although he didn't want to let her out of his sight, he unwillingly gave in to her request for space. As much space he's still unsure of, but after staying away this long he can't take not seeing her anymore. So here he stands, oddly nervous and about to knock on her door. He closes his eyes and breathes in deeply, trying to calm his racing heart, raising his fist to the familiar wooden door.

He pauses mid knock when an unfamiliar sound percolates through the door. At first it sounds like she has the radio on, maybe a CD player. Soft guitar filters trough to his ears and he considers turning around. Maybe see her tomorrow instead. She's probably in there relaxing in a bath or something. He starts to turn away, lowering his hand, but then the music stops. There is a short silence before it picks up again. To Castle's surprise, her voice accompanies the melody of the guitar. It hits him then, she's playing. Castle's hand rises again, as if to knock, but instead lays flat against the door. He closes his eyes again. Her voice sending a warmth through his entire body, and he starts to smile. He opens his eyes when she stops singing and playing. She chooses a new song, one he recognizes but has never heard in acoustic before. His smile broadens. He wishes he could see her but doesn't want to disturb her. So instead he sits on the ground with his back to her door and just listens to this rare treat.

_This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us  
>It's time to make our move, I'm shaking off the rust<br>I've got my heart set on anywhere but here  
>I'm staring down myself, counting up the years <em>

There a is a small pause where she only plays and then continues

_Steady hands, just take the wheel...  
>every glance is killing me<br>Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead _

He sings the chorus with her quietly.

_Stop and stare  
>I think I'm moving but I go nowhere<br>Yeah I know that everyone gets scared  
>But I've become what I can't be, oh <em>

On the other side of the door, Kate sits in a chair in the living room, adorn in comfy clothes. Her favorite purple wrap and a pair of black leggings. In her lap sits her guitar comfortably. Something she has been picking up a lot lately in her unwanted spare time. She's strumming it gently, swaying just a little to her own music, and sings the chorus.

_Stop and stare  
>You start to wonder why you're here not there<br>And you'd give anything to get what's fair  
>But fair ain't what you really need<br>Oh, can you see what I see _

With her eyes closed, a softness comes across her face. She's finally letting herself relax. All this time she's been hating herself, hating her body that just doesn't work the same anymore, and just plain being down on herself. And why shouldn't she. She's allowed to feel everything once and a while, and what better time than a suspension from work and some actual alone time? She just wishes Castle was here. She opens her eyes and continues her song, staring at her door. Maybe hoping he'll come knocking even though she told him to stay away...

_They're trying to come back, all my senses push  
>Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could...<br>Steady feet, don't fail me now  
>Gonna run till you can't walk<br>Something pulls my focus out  
>And I'm standing down... <em>

kate hits the chorus again, only this time, she realizes that she's no longer singing alone. Her brow creases but she keeps singing, as if feeling the other voice out.

_Stop and stare  
>I think I'm moving but I go nowhere<br>Yeah I know that everyone gets scared  
>But I've become what I can't be, oh<br>_

There is another voice. A mans voice. She stops playing, and stands up, placing the guitar against the chair and walking across the room a little shaky. Swinging the door open none other than Richard Castle falls back onto the floor of her apartment. She stares down at him. A whoosh of air leaves his longs on impact, and he closes his eyes to reopen them, seeing her green eyes staring down at him. He stares back for a moment before he sees her fighting a smile that threatens to crease the sides of her mouth. She wins the battle, and puts one hand on her hip, while the other holds the door open.

"Castle?" She asks. Slightly stern although on the inside she's all but too excited to see him.

"Kate!" He exclaims, jumping up from the ground so fast she has to blink a few times.

An awkwardness that has never been present between them before fills the space. He stands in her doorway, and her hand slips from her hip. She's still fighting a smile, incredibly relieved to finally be seeing him but unsure how to show it. Castle looks down at the ground.

"What are you doing here?" She asks, voice softer than she intended. She hopes he missed her. Because even though she asked him to give her space, she's missed him so much and doesn't know if she can, or know how to admit such a thing.

Castle looks up at her and shrugs. "I missed you?"

Kate stares right into those eyes, and Smiles.

**That's it. I have nothing else in me today until I see more Castle! That and I need ideas! Please review!**


	4. Lonely

**I was stocking the shelves at 5 O'Clock this morning, Yawning because OF COURSE I stayed up and watched The new Season of Castle, and then could hardly sleep after. So I am at work, and I am putting up new cheeses, and I say this really stupid line in my head, and I think "Castle might say that.." And so this little one shot was born!**

_**lonely  
><strong>_

It's the middle of the day on a Saturday. The wind is blowing the leaves, now starting to part with their beloved trees, and skitter them across the busy streets of new york. A women clad in dark blue jeans and a black pea coat, makes her way along the sidewalk in a bit of a hurry. Even though it's her day off and she could use this time to just slow down, she can't seem to. She just wants to get what she needs to get done, and go home to her warm apartment. Sure it's a pretty season, and she's used to the cold, but lately she just wants to curl up with a good book.

She smiles a little to herself, looking around at the Buzz of the city. Having just gotten back from her fathers cabin only a week ago, she just realized how much she misses the busy. It was too quiet there and had a hard time just sitting still. Here the sounds of cars honking and whizzing by, and the chatter of all the people out and about just warms her and makes her feel home. She lifts her nose to the sky when another breeze sweeps through, gathering up her long chestnut hair. She breathes in, getting a nice whiff of fresh air, and then coughs. She did not miss the smell of the city, that is for sure.

"Kate!" Someone yells for her and and stops mid stride, turning around to see Castle making his way through a crowd of people with shopping bags.

"Hey Castle." She smiles at him, a flutter rising in her chest. She's missed him all those months she just couldn't bring herself to call. And now that he's not mad at her anymore, she just wants to spend all her time with him.

Castle catches up, panting a little and then wrapping his arms around his body. He's wearing a nice black coat and blue scarf that bring out his eyes. "Cold huh?" He remarks, and looks right into her eyes. She gets the feeling that they both just simultaneously thought of the freezer. How can they not when the chill nips at their skin.

Kate nods, tight lip smile and mirrors his actions a little. "Yep, this is New York, Castle..In the Fall." She points out. This is not LA or Florida. She wonders if before he met her, he'd spend his holiday months in warmer climates.

Castle just shrugs. "So what are ya up to?" He moves aside as a woman walks by, dragging her little three year old boy behind her, who is wining at the top of his lungs that it's cold outside.

Watching for a moment Kate almost forgot he asked a question. "Oh, grocery shopping, I haven't really got anything in the house." She replies finally, and starts to walk again.

"Want some company?" He falls in step beside her.

"Sure." She says with a shrug although she's elated.

There is a short silence, where they just walk along the sidewalk, and Kate finds herself quite close to him after a few minutes, Whether from the usual magnetic pull between them, or seeking out warmth, she's unsure. And surprisingly she's okay with it. She looks up at him to see if he's noticed, to find him looking back. He gives her a smile and she drops her head playing with a strand of hair by her ear.

"So how was it with your dad?" Castle asks after another short pause.

"Quiet, almost to quiet you know?" She looks up at him again.

Castle nods in understanding. "I bet it was nice though." He muses.

"It was, I got to spend a lot of time with my dad...The longest we've ever spent together." She than says, with a raised eyebrow at such a pathetic thing.

"That's great Kate." He glances at her as they reach the grocery store and he stops just outside the door.

Kate bites her lip and nods.

He takes a hold of her arm gently, and she has no choice but to look at him. "It is Kate, You should spend all the time in the world with your dad." He says softy yet strong. She thinks she catches a hint of envy.

With another offered smile, the two enter the grocery store. Kate goes for the produce first. Not really sure what to get since she mostly eats out. Castle follows behind her grabbing a basket for her on the way. Just as she's picking up a bundle of Bananas, she sees Castle out of the corner of her eye taking various fruits into his arms all at once. She raises an eyebrow and turns a little to get a better look. Her eyebrow raises even higher when he begins to juggle them. Kate looks around her, feeling slightly embarrassed by him, and intrigued at the same time. With a smirk, she walks over and plops the bananas in the basket that dangles in the crook up his arm. All the fruit he is juggling fall to the floor.

"Hey!" He wines. "I was just getting the hang of it..." He pouts, picking them all up and then chasing after her.

She's now looking at the salads. "Come on Court Jester." She laughs.

He grins at himself as if her laughing is a small victory for him. He holds out the basket for her to place things in, getting a few more smiles from her. And then it's onto another isle. "Hey look, pre made Kung pao chicken!"

Again she looks at him with a raised eyebrow, shaking her head at how playful he is.

"Do you think they train the Chicken in combat first?" He holds the box, and then looks at her like a four year old that always has to ask the question "Why."

"No." She says flatly, earning him an eye role and another shake of the head.

Yet another Isle, and the basket is getting heavy. Castle continues to jibber jabber about every little thing in the store, and she eventually just smiles to herself, enjoying his company. He's definitely lifted her spirits, and that is all the matters. Placing a box of Nilla Wafers into the basket, Kate has to put it down, it's getting heavy and she still finds small things like this sometimes difficult.

"Let me get that." He says, picking it up and moving on to the cheese.

She follows behind him without protest and watches as he picks up a pack of cheeses. She waits. He must have something to say about those too. Having commented not five minutes ago about the prices of a 8 oz soda compared to the liters, which to him, makes no sense at all because the 8 oz cost more.

"12 singles cheeses." He says, holding the pack up as if considering them. He looks over his shoulder at her with that smirk of his and opens his mouth. "That's a lot of lonely cheese." He says it almost sadly.

Kate brings a hand up to her mouth to stifle the laugh that so badly wants to escape. But she doesn't want to give him such a satisfaction over a stupid line. "Really Castle?" She finally says, taking the cheese from him and placing it into the basket.

"Hey, It's my constitutional right to be ridiculous." He states, moving onto the bread Isle.

Kate laughs, a full out laugh and tosses him a loaf of bread. "Here, so the cheese wont be lonely anymore."

**I heard the**_** "It's my constitutional right to be ridiculous"**_** on the radio this weekend and thought it was funny. Anyway, this was all my idea, but the next one will be someone elses. I'll get to it soon. Thanks for reading and reviews are always wanted! Oh yea, and Ideas.**


	5. Impulses

****Thank you Jona for this chapter idea. Your impulse to suggest "what if Castle woke up on Mickey Rourke's front lawn handcuffed to an emu" Is too funny! But Alas, I don't think I could do that justice! Unless I made it one of his random acts before he met Kate. You know when he rode a police horse naked. Maybe I'll slip it ****in somewhere!** So I went with what if Castle was a tad overzealous when he subdued Lockwood and inadvertently beat him to death. As far as Ramifications go, I am going to stick with how that makes him feel, killing another human being. However justified I think he'd be. thanks for the idea.**

**P.S. Of course. If Castle did beat him to death, none of the others events of season three would have happened.**

** _Impulses_**

Everyone has impulses. Some have more control over them than others, and some have no idea that they even have them until a situation calls for them. Are we bound by these impulses? Yes. Do they make us who we are...that is yet to be decided. Maybe it's the way we deal with the aftermath that makes us who we are. Do we feel regret? Are we unaffected. That should be the dividing line between what is a good impulse, or a bad one. Which ones should never be let loose, and which ones we need more of. Richard Castle has always know about one in particular. He just never thought it would be released in such a fashion. In the real world on a real victim, instead of the ones he makes up in his books. He never thought he had such a capacity for such a very real, very terrifying act.

Castle has his eyes shut tightly in the ambulance parked outside the warehouse. It appears to the med that he's cringing from pain, when in all reality, he's not thinking about that at all. He can't even feel the pain that should be shooting through his bloody knuckles right now. He can't feel anything. All he can think about is what Jerry had said to him.

"_Your. Drawn...To Death._ _You like to be around it, because it thrills you._"

The med finishes wrapping his hand but Castle doesn't acknowledge him, just stares off into nothingness as Jerry's voice enters his thoughts again.

"_Now where does that come from..._" He can here that low evil smug voice as if he's saying it into Castle's ear. "_Your own suppressed impulses?_"

He lifts both hands. Seeing the contrast between the two. He looks on one with hatred, while the other shakes with fear and something else undefined. He lifts them both to his head and shakes it violently, still not feeling the needle like pain in his hand. The hand he used to beat a man to death.

"Castle?"

He shuts his eyes even tighter and rewinds back thirty minutes ago. Kate had a gun pointed at her and the trigger was about to be pulled. What else was he to do? He had launched himself at Lockwood, Furry evident on his face and this utter loathing and hatred. This overwhelming feeling to protect her with everything he has. It consumed him as he tackled him to the ground and continued to beat his face in until Lockwood lay still. Even then Castle was still over his body fist ready to continue it's deadly assault. But Kate's voice stopped him and she pulled him off just before he swung again.

"_Castle, are you okay?_" She had asked. The two toppling back onto the ground. They sat next to each other. He blinked rapidly and was panting, fist still clenched now bloody. They both looked over at Lockwood's lifeless body. Crimson red all over the mans face that was now bruised, one eye swollen. He reminded Castle of all the bodies he's always been curious about. Only this one makes him ill.

"Castle?" Kate's present voice breaks through finally, and he looks up. Pain and despair is written all over his face. And he can see she's worried, but also thankful for him saving her life. She climbs up into the ambulance and sits across from him. "You okay?" She asks but knows better. It's like the triple killer case all over again but worse.

Castle shakes his head, looking down at his wrapped hand. She takes it in hers and starts to re wrap it gently. The feel of her skin brushing his somehow grounds him a fraction.. There is a silence between them where all Castle can picture is Lockwood dead by his own hand, rewound to where he almost shot Kate and fast forward to where Castle stopped him. This happens several times, as if he's searching for a good reason for his actions.

Kate watches this transaction as she fixes his hand. Not knowing what to say. This is no way a situation to comment on how Esposito and Ryan are doing, wounded pride and all. But she does want to thank him.

"Thank you," she says. Void all real concern for the dead man in the warehouse. "For having my back in there." She adds.

He wants to say always... But he can't bring himself to. "Kate." He says instead, voice strangled. Defeated.

"Castle, listen to me." She leans further forward, kneeling in front of him.

He wont look at her. All he can think about are his impulses. His reasons for why he lost control, Why he's so fascinated by Death. It scares him. And he just killed a man, for real. This is not one of his books and he cannot re write the ending. A man is dead because of him. However he might of deserved it. He just never thought he'd actually do it. He never thought he actually had it in him to kill another human being. Maybe he has been suppressing it with his writing.

"_It's different when it happens right in front of you... close enough to watch the lights go out_." He remembers her saying earlier in this case. Yea, but he turned out that light.

"Hey." Her voice brings him back again. He feels her hand cup his cheek, he blinks back the moisture in his eyes, still avoiding her gaze. "Look at me." She rubs a hand over his cheek.

Castle looks into those green eyes of hers and he has to take a deep breath. He's shattered, and he's scared of himself.

"You had to do what you did in there..." She says, trying to justify him. "If you hadn't, he would have killed me. And for that, I am truly grateful." She soothes, her tone softening the more she speaks. She's still rubbing her thumb along his cheek, and he leans into her touch.

But she sees he's still not buying it. "Rick, It's the same as if you had a gun." Finding the logic in all those times she gave him a gun to defend himself. If this was any other case, shooting someone else who was about to shoot you first...well that's just common sense. It's self defense. And in this case, hers.

He blinks, and a tear slips from his eye. He's so destroyed. Not only that, but she has no idea why he is. She has no idea that Jerry analyzed him in a way no one has before. She doesn't know that he's burying the impulse. And he let that impulse get the best of him. It terrifies him. He feels like a monster.

"Your not like him, your not a monster." She says as if reading his mind.

His face grows heavy in her hand, and she cups the other cheek. Moving closer, Castle keeps breathing in and out, deeply trying to get a hold of himself. He can feel the pain in his hand now, and the cold night air outside the ambulance, which is still in the parking lot, doors open. The flashing red and blue lights cast an odd glow on Kate's face. He sees her own torment, and understanding in her eyes. He can see what she's thinking. She understands what it's like to take another life. But she does it for justice. And somehow, with her so understanding and being so close, Castle begins to feel a little better. Still horrified, but better. But for what happened tonight, he will always be haunted by his own desires. The ones he never new he possessed.

**Okay. So I am not saying Castle really wants to Murder people. But aren't you all curious as to why he's so fascinated? I for one am looking forward to learning more about him. Because Frankly? We know nothing. And I know that they will tell us, or else why have Jerry say those things? Anyway! I hope I did some justice to this idea. I did the best I could with being in the dark to his reasons for being drawn to death. If I knew them, I would sure go to town with this. Thanks for reading, reviews are my favorite! and More Ideas are always welcome!**


	6. A Father's Love

**Someone on CastleTV(Dot)net gave me this idea. I hope I did it well. And I hope you like it!**

_**A Father's Love**_

The sound of butter sizzling in a pan greets her ears, drowning out the silence of the cabin life momentarily – along with the bubbling coffee brewing. While the butter coats the pan, out comes a carton of eggs, cheese and turkey bacon from the fridge. Kate sets them all out on the counter and cracks two eggs into the pan with the butter. On the other side of the counter she pulls out four slices of bread and plops them into the double toaster before setting out two plates to wait for them. She does all this with an expert like ease, a small smile playing on her lips at her easy actions. She never does this at home. It's always either takeout or out at Remy's for her meals.

With her attention back to the eggs that look just about ready to flip over, Kate places a few pieces of Bacon into the microwave, and then proceeds to flip the eggs over, She winces from the slight pain from her recent wound, breaking the yoke in the process. She pauses for a moment to gather herself, pushing it past her and puts all her focus into making dinner – Not wanting to think about anything else. Which has proven difficult since she only got here this morning. It is now heading closer to seven at night. She's been battling with herself all day, while also trying to keep herself composed for her father, who has been keeping a keen eye on her.

The toast pops up, and Kate lays cheese on each egg before rushing over to butter the toast, placing them on plates and bringing them over. On goes the eggs and cheese, out comes the bacon to lay on top. She shakes salt and pepper onto hers, just salt for her fathers, and places the last pieces of bread on top to sandwich it all together. She balances the plates on her arm, grabbing two cups of coffee now ready in her other hand. She walks to the backdoor and uses her hip to ease it open. The door shuts with a creek and a loud crack, echoing across the back lawn. It's dark outside, but a few tiki torches light her way to her father – He sits on a bench by a growing fire.

"Thank you Katie." The older man says, taking his plate and setting his coffee down beside him. He pats the other side of him.

Kate looks at the fire for a moment before taking a seat next to him, mirroring his actions but instead, tightens her jacket around herself and takes a hold of her coffee in two hands. Her egg sandwich most likely to be untouched. She gives him a sideways glance, offering a smile, and then hunches her shoulders, Giving into the dull ache in her chest. A flicker of castle enters and exits her mind briefly... She sighs with her elbows on her thighs and sets her attention ahead staring off past the fire at the lake. A light breeze sweeps in and she involuntarily shivers. She sips her coffee to warm herself.. The moon is high and she just realized how beautiful it is out here. Way different from the bustling city, making her feel both lonely, and in awe. Her father shifts next to her and clears his throat. It sounds loud over the crackling fire and she braces herself for the many questions she's sure will ensue, perhaps even a lecture... She just wishes it wasn't so soon in her stay.

"How's Rick?" Her father asks finally. He bites into his sandwich.

She shrugs. "Fine I'm sure." She responds, taking another sip of her coffee and staring down the flickering flames.

"You haven't called him?" Her father raises an eyebrow sounding surprised, he lowers his food from his mouth.

Whens she doesn't offer an answer he sighs.

"He blames himself you know." He waits for any kind of response but gets none, it's hard to see her in the darkness, with her hair in her face, something he is sure she's done on purpose. "Josh shoved him and accused him of getting you nearly killed." Her fathers words are drawn out, in an informative way, as if the sole purpose of a reaction.

Kate snaps her head towards her father.

"While you were in the hospital." He adds taking his last bite.

"He did!" Now she's angry. She remembers back to the hospital, she was awake talking with Josh and Castle came in. She sensed something, but just chalked it up to the jealousy Josh would sometimes try not to express about Castle, that and her partners over protectiveness. Now she knows better.

"Katie, I don't understand what roles these two men are supposed to be playing, but Rick cares about you, and although I do not know who this Josh is as a person, I know he's not blind." He states.

"Whats that supposed to mean?" She turns towards him fully, clutching her coffee in both hands, white knuckles.

"You know what it means." He watches her reaction. She purses her lips and looks away. "This partnership with Rick, I don't by it."

"That's all it is."

"Your not fooling me, and your not fooling Josh either."

Her walls go up. And he sees it right away. Her face grows taunt and she clenches her teeth and shakes her head in denial. Again he sighs, putting his plate on the ground. "Something has happened to you Katie. You were the happiest little girl I ever saw. And I want her back. I thought I saw a glimpse of her again when Rick came around, he's good for you, but something else happened."

Kate shoots up, dropping her half empty coffee cup onto the ground somewhere in the dark. "Who's fault do you think that is dad? When mom was murdered I had **no **one to go to! I couldn't pick myself back up because I was too busy making sure _you_ weren't drowning!" She yells, casting a shadow over him as she stands with her back to the now blazing fire.

Jim sits stoned face for a moment. His daughter has never said anything like this to him before. And he can see that although she's stubborn and all fired up, she regrets it.. "I know I am not the greatest dad there ever was, but I'm here for you _now. _AndI just wish you'd let me **in**. Let down these walls you've seem to have built around yourself. Let Rick in...I want you to be happy Katie. Your mom would not want you to throw your life away over this.

"I buried it dad...I buried that case and Castle pushed me." She says, defeated, and surprised at herself. She didn't even know she still harbored those feelings.

"Don't blame him sweetie. You and I both know it would have come up again eventually." She looks down not wanting to meet his eyes because he's right.

"I know I Just-" She starts not sure what she was about so say and just leaves it at that. She paces again, stops and brings a hand up into her hair.

"I went to see Rick." Jim confesses, not being able to contain his secret anymore. Perhaps to see if Castle did any good at all. But his daughter is stubborn.

"What? When?" Kate drops her hand and her hair falls a mess around her shoulders.

" Before Roy was shot..." He lets that sink in. Kate stands before the fire, eyes wide and a little glassy with her fist covering her mouth. "I told him to convince you that your life is worth more than your mothers death. Because I feel he's the only one who can."

She frowns at this. "We had a fight." She then says almost a whisper.

"Katie please. Don't throw your life away." He echos from his serious conversation with Castle, realizing now that it was maybe too much to put on the man. But the damage has already been done.

"I'm not!" She concedes, pacing the fire.

"Yes you are!" He's getting more irritated now but remains seated. The area around the fire goes deathly silent. Not even the crickets chirp.

Kate stops pacing and stands looking off through the trees at nothing. She's breathing heavily from trying to hold back the tears. One slips out anyway and she looks towards her father, who seems to be sorry for bringing all this up.

"I'm sorry." He says solemnly. "I just want whats best for you Katie."

She nods, taking a seat next to him. She wipes at her eyes and leans into him, her head on his shoulder. Another silence falls over them, only this one is blanketed in a sort of understanding calm. Kate takes in another deep breath and wonders what more her father could be thinking about. He hit the mark that's for sure and she doesn't quite know what to do about it or what to think. It's almost like the fight she had with Castle, which incidentally was her father's fault because he sent him there. Not to say that Castle didn't have all those thoughts screaming to get out anyway. But to have her own father point out her miserable life? Well it's a wake up call and it certainly puts her own life into perspective.

"Hey Katie?" Her fathers voice rumbles in his shoulder.

"Yea?"

"That man loves you."

"I know."

**I have been thinking that ending for a while and decided to stick it here. I don't know if it's all that in character but a I have said before Kate is more emotional these days and it just might be okay. Hope you liked it. Reviews are my favorite and enjoy tonights new episode of Castle!**


	7. Steamy Foreplay

**So I am currently working on another oneshot involving our very own Kate Beckett, and Katharina from **_**The Taming of The Shrew. **_** I was given the idea by**baterista**9 But I am not sure how to go at it. In the mean time here is a little foreplay.**

_**Steamy Foreplay**_

It rises up to meet the softness of her face, causing her eyes to close and her lips to purse in pleasure. She feels the warmth cupped in both delicate hands, stealing a path up the rest of her arms and through her body to utterly relax her, and she's not even there yet. She opens her eyes, pupils dilating as she moves her object of desire closer to her now parted lips. Taking in a whisper of a breath, the aroma captures her senses. Closer still, her heart beating quicker in anticipation and yet she stalls, craving the full affect. Setting up a sort of foreplay to enrich the experience. And it's working...She loosens her grip, trying not to be so tense but she wants it so very bad. She's waited all morning for this and she's not going to hold back now.

Again closer. Her long hair tickles her knuckles as her hands grow closer. Her green eyes darkening. The heat ghosts across her lips, and she can't wait any longer. She finally lets her eager mouth rest on the firm edge, tipping it forward ever so slightly to allow her parted lips to taste with complete and utter satisfaction. Equivalent of a sweet, yet savoring kiss. A smile graces those lips as she swallows, permitting herself another taste and her eyes roll upward; a moan of sheer pleasure escape from deep within her throat.

Castle watches from his position in the doorway, body now tense as he leans against the steady frame. He walked in just to observe and found himself in a whole new predicament. With eyes wide and mouth agape he can't seem to look away. And for some reason he finds his body reacting to such a mundane thing. But she makes it so..._sexual._ He watches further as she lets out another soft "_Mmm_." Dragging it out as she lowers her hands just a little. There is a soft intake of breath from him at the sweet sound. Never has he seen someone so invested in a single cup of coffee.

**~ smirks~**


	8. Web

**Companion piece to the 4th chapter of The head and the Heart.**

**Castle's POV**

_**Web of Pain**_

Castle looks around the door frame into the break room, standing there for several seconds, listening to the sounds he's grown to love about the precinct. The sounds of phones ringing off the hooks, steam filtering from his espresso machine, and The detectives who sigh in annoyance at him. peering in at Esposito who's getting coffee, he looks out around behind him and then when he sees that Kate is not around, and everyone else is busy in the bullpen, he swiftly moves into the room and up to Esposito, invading most of his personal space.

There is that sigh from the detective. "Dude." Esposito turns his head towards Castle, backing away slightly while fixing himself a coffee. "If you want one you just have to ask." He says, handing him a cup.

"What?" Castle looks down at the hot cup of coffee in his hand and then back at the male Detective who's still looking at him funny. "No... Thanks..." Castle shakes his head. And frowns a little. "Have you seen Ka- Beckett?"

"I think she went to see Lanie. Why what's up?" Esposito turns towards him, holding his own cup.

"Does the precinct have an in- house Psychiatrist?" Castle asks in a low tone.

"Yeea" Esposito draws out the word with an raised eyebrow. "There's one on staff, he's on the lobby floor on the opposite end of the front desk..."

"Okay thanks." Castle turns to leave.

"I already went there Bro." Esposito says, Castle turns when he reaches the doorway. Esposito is standing with a smirk on his face knowingly.

"huh?" Castle asks like he has no idea what he's talking about.

"Ya. I already went down there and talked to the guy about Beckett." He says becoming serious.

"That's not. I." Castle sighs walking back into the break room.

Esposito places a brotherly hand on Castle's shoulder. "I'm concerned about her too you know. She's like a sister to me."

Castle nods.

"But go anyway." Esposito then says, walking around Castle and out into the bull pen.

Castle stands there holding his untouched coffee with a crease in his brow, thinking. He sees Kate walk by a few minutes later and shakes himself out of his stupor. Walking out he puts on his smile and take his seat at her desk.

"How's Lanie?" He asks giving her his coffee.

She looks up from her computer and smiles at him taking the cup. "Busy. She just got in a fresh body."

"Oh, do we have a case?"

"No, Natural death." Kate replies opening up a file to start some paperwork after sipping the offered coffee.

"Oh, in that case want to go for lunch later?" He checks his watch, it's only nine AM.

She doesn't look at him, her lips tight lipped before answering. "I can't today." She says, not offering anything else.

He cocks his head to one side curiously but doesn't ask questions. This gives him time to do what he needs to do. "I guess I'll get out of your hair then."

He stands up and her head snaps up from her paperwork, he notices for a brief moment that disappointment flashes across her face. "oh." She says softly.

Taking his jacket from his chair he drapes it over his shoulder and fixes her with a smile. "I have some writing to do, but I'll swing by later and bring you some sustenance."

She only smiles. That smile he loves so much. Takes everything in him not to sit back down and keep her company while she does her paperwork. "See you later then." She says, still smiling.

"Till then, my dear detective." He bows comically and turns towards the elevator. Once inside he leans back against the door with a long sigh, wiping a hand over his tired face. Again his brow furrows. Something he can't control these days unless he's around Kate, But he's just felt so...he doesn't know. For a writer he has no words for how he's been feeling these days. Everything is so jumbled and conflicting.

The elevator dings, and he jumps a little before exiting. He spots the front desks by the entrance doors and then turns his gaze down the opposite end. There is a single door down a hall with a few chairs outside it. He takes a deep breath, bringing a hand over his hair and makes his way to the door. He stands outside it, seeing the light on the wall signaling green. The psychiatrist is available. He raises a hand, and knocks.

"Come in." he hears a male voice. So he opens the door. "Ah, Mr. Castle." The psychiatrist greets from his desk. He stands up. "Please come in." He gestures towards a chair.

Castle walks in slowly and looks down at the chair – Wondering how many times Kate has sat here and possibly spilled out her feelings. But he doesn't sit. And he can't quite picture his Kate being open to a complete stranger...Although he guesses it's much easier that way.

"I wondered when I'd see you in here." The other man says, he sits in his own chair and regards the writer knowingly. "Although, I doubt this visit is for research."

"Uh, no." Castle offers, still staring at the empty chair offered. "I just wanted to let you know -"

The Psychiatrist holds up a hand. "Your friend has already been by here this week expressing his concerns about Detective Beckett." He says.

Castle nods. "I'm just worried about her." He says looking at the other man now.

"I understand, we can talk about it if you like, I don't have another appointment till this afternoon." He offers gesturing towards the empty chair again.

Castle hesitates, and then takes a seat, running both hands over the armrest, wondering how Kate was feeling when she sat in this chair before she was cleared for active duty. Not knowing that she will be in it again this afternoon. Several moments tick by in silence where Castle seems to be very invested in observing the fabric of the chair, the was his hand lays on it. All the while is face is fixed in a serious expression and he's completely still.

"Are you alright Mr. Castle?" The Psychiatrist asks the obviously disturbed writer across from him.

Castle looks up, not realizing he's been zoned out. "I don't think so." He confesses.

"This is an open space. You can talk freely here, about your concerns about Detective Beckett or about yourself." The psychiatrist expresses in a way that makes Castle more comfortable. "But know, that I cannot under any circumstances inform you about her times here, as much as this "He gestures between them. "is also confidential."

He nods in understanding and then sighs in relief sagging into the chair with a worried expression. "I don't know where to start." He says honestly.

"Anywhere is fine."

"I'm worried about her all the time. Even when she's standing next to me." Castle begins. "She seems okay while I'm with her, but sometimes I see this sad look in her eyes..." He trails off. Haunted by those eyes that he can see right into. Those eyes that show him that she might also be haunted, regardless of her happy demeanor lately. He knows most of it's just an act. Of course, Castle mistakes most of that sadness with the longing she hides for him. "And I feel guilty." He says.

"About what?"

"Everything, for digging into her mothers case when she told me not to, for almost getting her killed, for lying to her."

"You lied to her?" The Psychiatrist asks intrigued. Knowing that Kate also has something to be guilty for.

Castle leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands clasped in front of him. "I asked her to stop with her mother's case for now. That there are no leads anyway...But there are..." He trails off and looks at his hands. "I was told to keep her off the case, or they will kill her."

The man across from him raises his eyebrows.

"I told her I love her..." Castle stares at the psychiatrist. "I told her right after she was shot. I felt like it was my last chance. And then when I went to see her in the hospital, she told me she didn't remember anything about the shooting." He sounds wrecked.

Of course the psychiatrist knows all this, and only nods his head in response. He can see that Castle is battling with himself and urges him forward with another nods of his head.

"When she finally came back after those three months...She told me that she couldn't have the kind of relationship she wants until her walls come down."

"And you want a relationship with her." The psychiatrist observes.

"I do...And I know how to get that for her...and yet...I told her to stop."

"That's quite the sacrifice."

Again a grim nod. "I am looking into it for her. But she doesn't know...I'm becoming just as obsessed with it as she gets... I can't help myself. I need to know. I need to do this for her." He brings both hands into fists.

The Psychiatrist regards Castle for several long moments. Seeing how much this man cares for the female detective, and how much he has sacrificed his own integrity and mental health for her well being. He can see that the two of them share the same feelings, as well as the same pain. The two seem to be weaved in a identical web of trauma, resulting in both suffering from PTSD. What he sees in front of him is a man who knows what he wants, and is willing to give up his own ultimate happiness and settle for whats good enough for now, Which is making sure the love of his life stays safe, even if she's can't give him her whole heart. It's what the great loves stories are made of, and he can only hope, that these two can rise above it, and beat those odds.

**A/N: I was given a Castle goes to Therapy Idea. And Really didn't know what to say about it. So I did this as an in between. As in Castle comes here before Kate does later that afternoon, which is written in chapter 4 of _The head and the heart_. I pretty much just wanted to show that Castle may be suffering from the same thing. I mean, he has his own murder board in his office. And the look of utter determination on his face that episode was intense. I have a feeling he sits in front of it for hours on end every night. **

**This will not continue. Only with Kate in the other story Thanks for ready. Reviews are my Favorite!**


	9. Staying on Point

**So I have been thinking about it ever since I saw the Season 4 teaser thing. ( h t t p : / / w w w . y o u t u b e . c o m / w a t c h ? v = 8 K 6 k 9 3 2 8 - - 0 )You _should_ know the one ;P And It's been nagging at me so I decided to write this because I haven't done a one shot in a while. I might even have an idea for the new "Words with friends" thing on facebook, but I need to get the words right and I am not good enough at scrabble to even begin to think of how to play it right for them. **

**Without further ado... my own tease.**

_**Staying on point**_

Richard Castle sits in his chair beside Kate's desk, per usual. Only this time he's leaning heavily on the wood, elbow up, head in his hand while he stares her down with an odd expression while she reads over their current case file to herself. She can't help but dart her eyes towards him every now and then when his breathing becomes heavy with some sort of inner conflict. She tries to ignore it, but every time she hears him her own breathing hitches slightly. She shifts uncomfortably in her seat, bringing her pen up to her mouth and biting down on it to suppress a sigh.

At her movement Castle takes his face out of his hand and opens his mouth as if to speak, shakes his head slightly and then goes back to his previous position with a sigh through his lips in a pouty sort of way. Kate lifts her eyes to the ceiling and then looks out around the bustling bullpen for a moment, and then she drops her pen to her desk with a exasperated sigh.

"What Castle?" She asks in mock irritation, when actually she's quite curious as to what has him so lip locked.

His head flies out of his hand and he leans back just a little. "Well since you asked!" He exclaims with a grin.

She rolls her eyes big time and waits.

"I have a favor to ask you...well mother does..well she has a favor to ask of both of us." He rambles unsure of himself.

"What is it Castle?" She's growing impatient.

"Well you see...mother has her theater class over at the loft once a week...and this week she is teaching them about upfront presentations." His eyebrows raise in that adorable way of his and she has to hide a smile by covering her mouth with her hand, elbow on her desk.

"Oh...kay." She draws out, brow furrowing as to why this might have anything to do with the two of them.

He gestures between the two of them. "She wants us to demonstrate." He looks at her questioning, and hopeful, but mostly anxious.

She places a finger over her lips and looks upwards in thought. She could certainly do this. She took a semester in theater before dropping out and going into the academy. She could have made something of herself in that line of work. Pondering on how she could possibly help out, she comes up with an idea. This should be easy. She was always getting top marks in her class. But she won't tell him this.

"Sure, why not?" She says off handily, removing her elbow from her desk and going back to the file in front of her. She smirks at the file, waiting for his response.

"Wait?" He says shocked. "Really?"

"Yes really, don't sound so shocked.." She looks up at him, her face showing that she is dead serious, in a playful way.

"Oh...okay then, great! I'll go tell mother!" He gets up from his chair in a rush, looking around for his coat, which he has on. He sighs at himself for being ridiculous and then stands in front of her with a boyish grin. "Saturday good for you?"

"Sure." She says with an unmistakable smile she doesn't even try to hide.

"Okay then!" He does a little happy skip as he turns and heads to the elevator.

Kate watches him go, her smile growing. He gives her a thumbs up as the elevator doors close and she shakes her head in amusement.

**~Caskett~**

Kate stands outside Castle's loft two days later. Her green eyes stare at the sturdy door for several long moments as she gathers herself. She talked to her therapist about this yesterday, and he suggested it might be good for her to just let loose for a change. So here she is, dressed all in black to make her seem more mysterious, her hair hanging beautifully in waves past her shoulders, framing her face. She hopes this has the desired affect. And she has a pretty good idea of how she wants to play this scene. She takes in a deep breath hearing the sound of the students inside, and knocks on the door.

"Kate!" Martha exclaims throwing her hands enthusiastically into the air and then engulfs her in a warm embrace before letting her go and ushering her inside. "Right this way dear, my students are eager to learn!" She guides Kate into the living room where a dozen or so students are waiting,

Kate looks around a bit flustered. "Where's Castle?"

"Oh, He's in his office. Richard is just getting himself ready, he seemed a bit nervous last time I checked."

"Nervous? Why?" Kate looking towards the office and then around her seeing a pair of chairs and then the bookshelf off behind her. She sets the scene in her mind, thinking right about here is good to set the stage.

"Oh! I don't know. My son can be a bit of an enigma these days." The older woman says with a shrug and a wave of her hand. "Richard!" She yells to him.

Kate frowns at such a comment and then sees Castle come around the corner. He's dressed in a dark blue button down shirt, that certainly brings out his eyes. It's tucked into a pair of black dress pants. "Kate!" He says the frown that was on his face when he entered is now gone.

"Hey Castle." She greets almost shyly. Something she can't seem to help these days.

"All right, Kiddos!" Martha claps her hands and pulls Kate and her son together in front of her.

"What _exactly_ do you want us to do mother?" He asks, looking Kate up and down for a moment, and then over his mother's shoulder at the waiting students who have now shushed.

"I want you two to describe a great upfront presentation between a male and female presenter...**IN"** She raises both her fingers dramatically," _Character._" She then says pointing at them with a raised eyebrow.

Castle and Kate look at each other. "Can you do this?" He asks Kate. Knowing he can because of who he grew up with as a mother.

"Pfft, don't worry about me Castle." She says, playfully hitting his chest.

"Okay." He srugs. He takes a deep breath and clasps his hands behind his back.

"Ready when you are, you two." Martha says as she takes a seat on an armrest of one of her student's chairs.

Kate's been ready, and Castle dives right in.

He unclasps his hands and uses them while speaking. "The sure fire way." Kate brings her hands up and then down together in font of her excitedly. And looks at the students. "to a _Great_ up front presentation." He emphasizes the word, Great.

Kate purses her lips, both eyebrows raised and goes up on the balls of her feet in anticipation, making it seem more like she's agreeing with him then trying to damper her anxiousness.

"Is to pair up a male presenter with a female presenter." Castle says strongly, in character and as if he was never nervous to begin with. He makes a point with his hands.

She keeps her lips tightly together, smiles at the audience as he says this, looking at him nodding, and then looking at the audience with more agreement. Both her hands holding onto each other in front of her body, knowing how she's going to use them in a minute.

His hands go behind his back again. "Now the female presenter." Castle thinks on the spot, and Kate looks at him and then down waiting to see what he says. "She should be..Sophisticated."

"Hmm."

"Sexy." He says going throaty.

"Mm!" She agrees with a twinkle in her eye.

"Smart." He blinks both eyes for affect.

"Oh! Smart I like that." She says with a wispy voice nodding in accord and modesty, knowing that he is subtly complimenting her.

He looks at her with a smile.

She fixes him with a look, ready to go right into character, her voice comes out easy and smooth. "And what about the male presenter?" She turns towards him "Should he be." She looks at his body. "Strong?" Back to his face.

"Yeeaa." He smiles. "Yea he should be strong." Castle switches his weight to the foot closer to Kate.

Kate tilts her head from one side to the other "mm." Now she's looking at his shirt collar with a mischievous smile and brings a hand up to said collar.

He shifts back again. "mm, Charming." He then adds in a low voice, as if feeding his own ego. "yea, good to be charming." He says just as Kate runs her fingers over his collar and watches her hand a little taken aback by her action.

She looks off trying not to roll her eyes.

"Ruggedly handsome..." His voice becomes softer and deep as he looks at the audience, maybe unsure of what to do about this change in Kate.

She lays her hand flat on his chest. "He should be..." He pauses while her hand travels upward "a..renegade." and a smirk appears on his face, completely reaching those baby blues of his. He shuffles closer to her liking how this is going.

And the Switch.

Kate's hand rubs his chest, "and what happens when," Her fingers inch closer to the buttons of his shirt. "That smart." Her fingers take hold of his top button. She watches herself do this.

He snaps his head down to watch her as well, completely taken off guard.

"Sexy." His face is close now and she practically says it sexily into his ear. "Sophisticated." She starts to undo the button delicately and with ease, looking directly at his face that is still fixated at the work she is doing on that button. "Little girl." Her eyes look at her own fingers to avoid his gaze. "Gets _lost_ in that Ruggedly Handsome." She's almost flush against his chest, her voice lowers and her eyes come up to meet his. "renegades." She pauses, and then her hand comes up to brush the hair on the side of his face, "_Eyes_." to then rest on back of his ear which she flicks affectionately. Her eyebrows raising in emphasis.

She strokes the skin behind his ear and brings her attention to his lips for a moment.

"Then." He stammers. She gazes into those ruggedly handsome eyes. "Umm." His voice dips even lower.

She opens her mouth waiting. "hmm? She blinks those lashes at him practically humming seductively on purpose. She brings her head back ever so slightly and nodding a bit in encouragement. She's so poised although on the inside her heart is fluttering madly.

"What..what are we doing?" He asks in a deep throaty whisper as her parted lips grow dangerously close to his.

She hovers there and then teases him, moving her head from sight to side subtly while saying: "We're heightening sexual tension." She breathes into his ear, her hand still holding onto his neck.

His nose brushes her cheek and she pulls her head back.

"You know." Her eyes focus on his lips and she caresses his cheek with her thumb.

All the while Castle has lost character and stands in awe.

"Between a male and female presenter." Her voice is soft almost as if she's speaking to a child. Her hand comes off his face to grip his shoulder. "To create that." Her mouth opens and she stares at his lips, wanton. "Will they." She brings air in throw her teeth temptingly all the while clawing his shoulder and bringing him in close. "Wont they." Now she brings it in, "Vibe." caressing his nose with hers back and forth through a stream of heat...

"Riight." He breathes out in a steamy whisper. She smiles letting out a soft sound and continues to kiss his nose with hers. "Will they?" He asks voice higher and hopeful.

Taking her nose from his she says "No." with a glare completely pulling away with a roll of her eyes to the audience.

And then she's back.

He stands a little straighter with this look on his face that clearly says. _Wait what just happened?_

She leans forwards, hands now behind her back and addresses only the audience. "What you also want to do is find a presenters who can Stay. On. **Point**." She says with a firm nod and looks up to Castle who still seems dazed. "Right Castle?" Her voice is now much like her detective voice and almost scolding.

"Maybe they would... though...if they-"He looks far off.

"Castle?" She cuts him off sharply.

He looks down at her blinking a several times. "yea..right." He mumbles fixing his gaze now on the audience standing straighter.

She shrugs her shoulders, leaning in towards him while he remains dumbfounded and smirks devilishly over her shoulder.

"It's hot in here..." He whispers. And the audience laughs.

Martha shoots up from her place. "Bravo!" She says clapping over enthusiastically and the students clap with her.

Castle remains glued to the spot and Kate shakes off that character and looks down at the floor bringing a hand up to play with a few strands of hair.

"That was brilliant!" Martha exclaims proudly eying her son who's a bit lost for words and then grins at Kate. "Darling are you sure you aren't more fit for the stage?" She places a hand on her shoulder.

"Nah." Kate shrugs modestly. "Although I did take an advanced class one semester in collage." She adds as if it's really no big deal.

Castle snaps out of it and looks at her in disbelief.

"Well there you have it!" Martha says and goes back to her students. Informing them of next class and they all scoot out.

Kate finds herself all alone in the living room with Castle. After an awkward pause she hops onto the balls of her feet and breaks the pragmatic silence. "Well!" She says almost too loudly. "I'll see you Monday, Castle." She turns to leave.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" He yells to her just as she reaches her hand to the doorknob. "Kate?" She closes her eyes heart racing.

"Hmm?" She hums.

"What was _that_?" He asks, throwing a thumb towards the living room.

"Acting." She pulls the door open but his hand closes it again and then he's in front of her. Her head is staring into his chest. Her eyes travel to the button she was playing with early. She remembers the feel of his firm chest against the palm of her hand. The button is halfway out of the hole and her fingers itch to undo the rest of it.

"That was a hell of a show!" He says almost accusing her of otherwise.

"Yea." She says, looking at him now, giving him a stern glance. She doesn't like where this is seemingly going. "It was. I was ** act, ting,** _Castle_, just what your mother asked of us." She explains herself a little on edge. "What were _you_ doing?" She pokes him in the chest.

"You distracted me!" He goes on the defensive, his voice becoming high pitched.

"It's called. 'Staying on point.' What? Richard Castle can't handle a little_ play _acting?" Her voice becomes playful and she flicks that annoying button out of the stubborn hole.

His attention shifts to her hand like before. "what?..yea... I just..." He trails off and she looks up at him again.

Wrong move.

She gets _lost._..in those eyes.

"Kate." He breathes, the hot, sweet air carrying from his parted lips to hers. She hasn't realized that they have migrated closer to each other in the last few seconds.

"Yea?" She ask softly, eyes darting to his lips where they stay. Oh how badly she wants to kiss them.

"What are we doing?" He asks, face closer, panting almost.

Her breath hitches in her chest. She reels herself in. "Staying on point." She says unconvincingly, stepping back and opening the door in one fluid motion.

Castle stands stock still once again wondering what in the Hell just happened, **Again.**

Just before she closes the door behind her she gives him a wink and says. "For now anyway."

**What did you think? **


	10. Not Cherries

_**Not Cherries**_

Kate steps into the shower letting the steamy hot water relax her sore muscles and wash away her long long day. With eyes closed she just lets her body go into full relax mode before going to grab her usual cherry scented body wash and shampoo. She comes up with an empty bottle. She frowns. This wont be good. She always washes up with her favorite scent...ever since Castle seemed to like it all those years ago she's never gone without the delicious smell. It has somehow become part of her daily routine, along with putting on her mother's ring and her father's watch. And now, this might just throw her whole day off tomorrow.

With a sad sigh, Kate reaches for her soap...Damn she's out of that too.

Kate thinks for a moment, not remembering the last time she went shopping. She's been so caught up with cases and going to therapy she's lost track of what day it is. She balls her hands into fists for a second, and then braces herself for the cold as she gets out of the hot shower and retrieves her back up body wash under the bathroom sink. She gets back in with a low moan when the hot water assaults her skin again, and frowns down at the bottle of vanilla scented body wash she got for her birthday a few years ago. She never liked the scent so she put it under the sink for rare emergencies. And unfortunately, this is one of those times. With a face of disgust Kate washes up with the distasteful vanilla body wash, and exits the shower. She gets ready for bed with her nose turned up at herself and slips under the covers. It takes her a while to fall asleep.

The next day Kate stands in front of the espresso machine about ready to get herself her first cup of the day. Already she's thrown off with this stupid vanilla. Castle is delayed with a meeting so this small espresso will have to do. But the machine won't work for her for some reason so she ends up burning herself and getting a puff of steam in her face.

"Yo Beckett." She jumps spilling what coffee she did manage to get out, onto the grate.

"Ahhh! What?" She asks, turning her head menacingly towards Esposito.

Esposito takes in her flustered appearance and is glad he has good news for her. "Uh...We can head out early today if no bodies drop." He says warily.

"Great." She says through her teeth and goes to refill her coffee.

Esposito leaves with a shake of his head and goes to his desk to do paperwork, throwing a thumb over his shoulder and mouthing a warning to Ryan, who looks concerned and wary, he nods his head and puts his head down to work.

At the sound of the delicious hot liquid pouring into her cup, Kate smiles for the first time that morning and hums happily now that the machine is working for her. With a hot cup of coffee in hand, she sits down at her desk, flopping down and picking up a pen to follow her fellow detective's example. A whoosh of air stirs up the unwanted vanilla scent off her skin and assaults her nose. She rolls her eyes with a groan. Wishing she didn't have to use this retched smell because it's making her feel sick.

"What's with the look?" Castle asks walking up an hour and a half later.

Kate looks up from her paperwork, shoulders sore from hunching over her desk and sees he comes with a gift. She hasn't realized she's been scowling at herself this whole time. "Nothing, just stupid paperwork." She says taking the offered gift, a large coffee.

Castle shrugs his shoulders and takes his seat next to her desk. He gives her a smile, which she returns over her cup and settles in to watch her. After a few minutes he remembers his own coffee and brings it up to his lips. Kate sighs quietly, bringing a hand through her hair a little aggravated because her pen is out of ink. She gets one out of the cup on her desk and continues to play with her hair as she fills out the tedious paperwork on her desk.

Castle frowns when an unfamiliar smell floats by his nose from Kate's general direction. He stops mid sip, lowers his cup and scrunches up his nose. He moves his head around in the air around him, sniffing, and then leans a little towards Kate who doesn't seem to notice. He makes a loud sniffing noise and she looks over at him briefly.

That didn't take long.

The writer keeps investigating, nose in the air like a bloodhound on the hunt. He's halfway across her desk before she has to stop him. "Castle." She warns not looking at him.

"Do you smell that?"

"No." She lies. And then, "What does it smell like?" She regards him from the corner of her eye.

"Like..." He sniffs again, really close to her face now. "_Not._ Cherries." He says in a low disturbed tone. He backs up and falls back into his chair with a deep crease in his forehead. "What is that?" He asks put off.

Kate sighs, dropping her pen and leaning her head into her hand. "Vanilla."

"Vanilla?" He scoffs. "That's boring, and so not you...it's so..." He thinks for a moment.

"Vanilla?" She asks with an amused raise of her eyebrow.

He nods in full agreement. "Pun fully intended."

She laughs a little and takes her head out of her hand swirling her chair to face him. "I ran out of my favorite body wash last night." She admits and then regrets it from the look on Castle's face. He's probably thinking about her in the shower...all soapy. And then she blushes because she finds she doesn't mind at all.

He starts to shake his head and gets up from his chair. "That simply will not do." He says and leaves without another word.

Kate looks on puzzled as he gets into the elevator on a mission and shakes her head. Thirty minutes later Kate checks her watch. It's lunch time and Castle hasn't returned. She shrugs eying the elevator and decides to have lunch with Lanie.

"What's that smell?" Her friend asks when she sweeps into the morgue a few minutes later.

Kate hops up onto an empty exam table and tosses her arms in the air. "It's me all right!" She says exasperated.

"Whoa there!" Lanie says in surrender, swiveling around in her chair. She was also doing her own bit of paperwork before Kate walked in. "I didn't say it was a bad smell."

"Yea well Castle noticed too." Kate says crossing her arms.

"Of course he did, that boy would have his nose in your hair all damn day if you let him." Lanie smirks getting up and pulling lunch out of a nearby fridge. She hands Kate a container of chicken salad.

Kate takes it with a tilt of her head and a look that says _'Really?'_

"You know he would. Writer boy is very aware of everything you do, wouldn't surprise me he knows what you smell like. He's made it his business," She looks Kate up and down with a raised eyebrow. "To be up in your business."

"Yea well I scared him off with this new scent I had to use last night, I ran out of my favorite body wash." Kate forks some salad into her mouth.

"I hate when that happens." Lanie agrees.

The two woman eat and chat for a while before Lanie gets in a fresh body, no case for Kate, and the two part. Back upstairs Kate steps out of the elevator and is about to go grab some coffee when she sees a big bag on her desk. She tilts her head to one side in curiosity and by passes the break room. When she reaches the bag, she looks around, not seeing Castle anywhere. And then sits in her chair dragging the bag closer. It's from Bath and body, and it's heavy. Kate looks around the bullpen again and then brings the bag into her lap looking in side. It's filled to the top with Cherry scented bath soaps, sprays and body washes. A grin creeps up onto her face. She reaches into the bag and pulls out a spray. Again she looks around. She removes the cap and brings it up to her nose, breathing in the familiar scent. She closes her eyes and hums.

"Home sweet home." Castle says with boyish smirk.

Kate jumps and sprays the bottle into the air between them by accident. "There is like a year supply in here!" She exclaims putting the bottle down on her desk and fishing inside for more products.

"Anything for my favorite detective." He says with a shrug. He takes a seat and smiles cutely at her.

"You didn't have to do that Castle." She says in a low tone, and a shy smile.

He surprises her by taking her hand in his, and then turning her hand over exposing her wrist. He rubs a thumb gently over her pulse point and she can't help but let out a small gasp. He smirks at her through his eyelashes, and then reaches for the bottle of spray. He smooths her wrist with his thumb again, and she bites her lip as he sprays a little onto her skin. Before she knows what she is doing she's giving him her other wrist, which he mimics his previous actions. After he's sprayed her other wrist, he pulls her towards him a little. Her chair rolling forward. And then, she bites down harder on her lip to suppress a sigh, because he brings both wrists up to his nose. He takes her in with a deep breath, and then kisses both wrists.

"Mm." He says in a husky tone. "You smell like cherries."

* * *

><p><strong>I ran out of my favorite body wash, and I had to use vanilla. For one, it's a completely different smell, so it throws me off. And two, it does sort of make me feel sick because it's a strong smell. Anyway. I thought back to that episode where Castle said, (in his sexy voice) "you smell like cherries." Followed by both flicking their eyes to each others lips. And I thought, what would happen if Kate didn't smell like cherries? Well there you have it. Hope you liked it! Reviews are my favorite as always!<strong>


	11. They Walk Among Us

**This happened to me today, But I was the cashier.**

_**They walk among us**_

"Beckett!"

Castle rushes out of the elevator with two cups of hot coffee. He's in such a rush to get to Kate's desk he almost collides with a rookie, by passing them with a clumsy twirl to the right and then flops down in his chair next to her desk panting.

Kate just turns towards him with an amused smile and a raise of her eyebrow. She takes her coffee and waits.

"You wont believe what I saw at the coffee shop today!"

"What?" She asks not looking up from the case file in front of her. She'll just humor him.

"Guess."

"Castle, I am not going to guess." She deadpans flicking her hair behind her shoulder and looking at him.

"Just guess." He bounces a little in his seat.

Kate sighs slumping in her chair and grabbing at her coffee. She only has to think for a second. "Your future self who came back to warn you about something?"

"No but that would be so cool!" He exclaims. "I wonder what he'd have to warn me about?" He traisl off in a mumble and a crease in his brow.

"Uh...Your sanity?"

He tilts his head to the side with a slight glare. "No. one more guess."

"What is this rule of only three guesses?" She crosses one arm and tips her coffee to her mouth.

He raises an eyebrow and ushers her to guess.

She rolls her eyes. "All right, an Alien?"

"YES!" He practically shouts jumping with excitement in his chair and almost spilling his coffee all over her desk. She sighs at him and turns away losing interest.

"Come on Castle."

"I am **dead**_ serious._" He says. And when she turns towards him again she can see that he truly believes he saw an Alien, so she throws him a bone.

"Okay." She puts both hands up in surrender. "What did it look like?"

"He." Castle corrects and then continues. "I was in line at the coffee shop behind this tall guy. He had a large wallet, like a woman's wallet full of credit cards and things. And he was fumbling around with them. Like he didn't know how to use them. Finally he pays with cash, trying to shove all his cards back in, and he says." Castle holds two fingers up in excitement.

Kate hides a smile behind her hand.

"He says, 'sorry I'm trying to get used to all this.' he turns towards me and then says, in all seriousness. 'I've only been on earth for a week." Castle's mouth stays open, eyebrows raised all the way to his hairline. He looks completely adorable waiting for Kate's reaction.

"Castle, he was probably joking around." She leans forward.

His face falls. "But he wasn't!"

"How do you know?" She asks placing her elbow on her desk/

"Beckett. I _know_ people, and I just got this vibe. He was creepy... For one, he hardly had any emotion when he spoke, except for when the cashier asked him how his day was. And he seemed floored to be asked a simple question. AND he had a large head, not round but long." He gestures by bringing a hand over his head.

"So." Kate starts to laugh, she just cannot help it.

"So? Kate! He was clearly an Alien!"

"What does the shape of his head have to do with anything?" She asks, sobering up.

He fixes her with such a look. "Well obviously they have to look like us when they come here." He makes some gestures as if to say they use humans as their hosts.

"What? did you see his Zipper?" She bursts out laughing her voice carrying throughout the bullpen and raising Esposito's interest, and Ryan pokes his head around the door frame of the break room.

"Laugh all you want Beckett." Castle says, leaning back in his chair and turning his attention to his phone. "But they walk among us." He nods his head at himself and taps a few things on his phone before turning it towards Kate.

"That's not real." She says. He's showing her a YouTube video of the UFO in Jerusalem.

"Yes it is." He pulls his phone away from her and pouts in his seat like a small child.

"No it isn't it's an Unidentified flying object."

"A spacecraft!"

"No. it's _Unidentified._"

"You're mean." He says. Pouting even more and refusing to look at her.

She frowns because she's clearly upset him. "Come on Castle." She gets up from her chair grabbing her coat.

"Where are we going?" He asks looking up at her from his phone.

"To lunch, my treat...maybe we'll see your _alien_ friend at the diner." She smirks.

"Then would you believe me?" He hops up from his chair.

She grins at him. "Sure."

* * *

><p><strong>So yes. I did think Alien when I saw this guy. And he was dead serious when he told me he has only been on earth a week, and he was strange even before I thought Alien... Anyway. Thoughts?<strong>


	12. Gnosis

**Before you read past this bold print go here: h t t p : / / w w w . y o u t u b e . c o m / w a t c h ?v = A v 5 0 c n D 2 v u M (start playing it when Kate does) Now you may proceed. **

_**Gnosis **_

She stands in the doorway of the dining room watching Castle and his family clean up after their wonderful dinner together. Kate can't seem to erase the smile that has formed on her face since Martha hugged her earlier in the evening. She feels a sense of belonging as she stands here. As though she could have been doing it all her life. She can't help but look upon them and wonder if this is how it really could be if she let those walls down. The thought of being here with them, watching this family interact every day...it brings a certain longing and warmth into her heart.

Kate tips her glass of wine to her lips but does not sip. Her lips curve against the delicate glass at the sound of father and daughter laughing together. It's like heaven, and it makes her feel home deep in her soul, something she has not been able to feel for a long time. She catches Martha observing her from her place at the sink. She's holding a glass of wine in her own hand and a dish rag in the other. She had been watching Castle and Alexis as Kate was. Kate's cheeks flush as if she's been caught doing something that should warrant embarrassment. Then again, Martha did catch her swooning. Martha bobs her head and raises her glass with a knowing look. Kate looks down for a moment and raises her glass as well.

Alexis throws a towel hanging from the stove at her dad and says something about going upstairs to get ready for bed. She gives Kate a smile and goes up the stairs to her room. Kate watches Castle as his eyes follow his daughter up the stairs. This look of concern etched across his features. His eyes meet Kate's and she gestures with her glass up towards the second floor. He walks over to her, placing a hand at her elbow giving it a light squeeze before smiling at her in thanks and going to check on Alexis. Kate's breath catches in her throat at the minor contact and she bows her head for a moment and breathes in deep.

"She broke up with Ashley today." Martha offers.

Kate jumps not realizing that Martha was still there, and now standing closer. "I figured it was something like that." She says softly, her eyes drifting back to the stairs.

Martha pulls Kate into a hug. A hug that makes Kate want to cry. The sort of hug you can only receive from a loving mother, and for Kate...it's almost close enough. "Thank you, Kate." Martha says into her ear, letting go and holding her at arms length.

"For what?" Kate asks. She thinks she should know, but somehow the way Martha is looking at her, it's much more than saving them today. It runs much deeper. The red head doesn't say anything at all. She hugs Kate one last time, and pokes her gently on the nose with a mysterious grin before heading off to her own room

Kate frowns curiously, and then shrugs her shoulders. Her eyes drift back to where Castle disappear a few minutes ago, and then roam around the spacious apartment. Castle might be a while, so she pushes off from the wall and wanders around. Her green eyes flick to the various pictures in the living room, that smile gracing her lips. She walks around comfortably with her glass raised just below her chin and her other arm wrapped around her abdomen. Her heels making a sharp clicking sound coinciding with her heart beats. She can't stop thinking about today. How close she came to never seeing Castle again...How he kept her from slipping within herself and wallowing in what almost was to be the second most tragic thing of her life. But he kept her from herself, and now she walks around alone in his apartment and she can't help but feel that sombre ache.

She takes in another deep breath, sighing unsteadily into her glass as she takes a sip, and then her eyes land on the piano over the rim. A pang enters and exists her chest. The one only a secret pianist would feel at the sight of any piano. And this one is beautiful. She quickens her pace stepping up to the magnificent instrument and running her free hand over the black shiny top in a soft caress. She follows the curve with the tips of her fingers until she comes to the bench. She sets her wine glass on a coaster already there, and brushes the seat with her hand before sitting down. She wonders for a moment, if this coaster ever held a glass belonging to a one Richard Castle. That perhaps, he too sat here, his writer's hands gracing these keys. Surly he must know how to play?

Small steady hands lift the lid and she can't help the small gasp at the sight of the black and white keys. Her fingers itch to touch them. Much like how they itch to reach out to Castle every day. Her eyes dart up, looking around her first before her index finger smooths over one shiny white key without pressure. Soon another finger rests on the keys, and then another until all ten rest there. She presses one down slowly, the faint sound rising something a lot like familiarity and contentment in her chest. Her fingers come off the keys quickly almost as if she was shocked. With another glance around, realizing she is still alone, Kate takes a large sip of her wine and places her hands on the keys once more.

She can't remember the last time she sat at a piano, particularly one as beautiful as this...but a song comes instantly to mind. Her smokey colored eyelids slide down over her brilliant green eyes as she starts to play. The melancholic melody echos across the loft, ricocheting off everything and coming back to grace her ears. She's amazed at the sound she produces and she soon gets over that, slipping into a trance, the acoustics drowning out all else.

Her body moves with the music, stern in some areas, soft in others, and her head tilts back ever so slightly as her fingers work the keys in memory. As she plays, her heart rate eases considerably, soothed by the melodic phrase of notes and raw emotion. Kate's eyes open, staring down at the keys but hardly seeing them. She puts everything into this song. Something she has a hard time doing with words, and hardly her actions. Her fingers tingle, traveling through the rest of her body in an overwhelming need. A need she can't explain other than with this piano.

Unannounced to her, Martha stands in the large doorway between the living room, and her sons study. Her back is against the wall, eyes closed with her hands up to her chest over her heart. A solemn expression plays on her face, along with some sort of admiration and love for the woman playing. It sounds a lot like...what? Richard could certainly explain it better; The notes rise a warm feeling in the older woman's chest, one that is accompanied with a sense of knowing, a spiritual knowledge from someone who has only ever experienced loss or tragedy. And yet there is a lightness to some of this piece as well. Almost like an awareness to everything other than that first instinct for loss.

Castle walks down the stairs slowly. Taking each step with a few seconds longer between them than normal. His head is tilted to one side curiously and his brow is creased between in wondering eyes. He takes a tentative step onto the ground floor and looks around him. He doesn't see Kate, and thinks she must be playing his stereo in the living area. But as he makes his way there, he spots his mother, tears in her eyes and her head tilted up towards the ceiling. The music gets louder, but his stereo isn't on, and he still can't see Kate anywhere.

He places a hand on his mothers arm. Her eyes open, showing him a sadness he has never seen in her eyes before, not even after today. He goes to open his mouth to say something, but she shakes her head, placing a hand on his cheek and giving it a pat. She steps away from the wall, and then places a finger to her lips to silence him. Her head tilts towards the large windows in the a joining room. She doesn't wait for him to reply and leaves him bewildered. Castle steps around the wall to find Kate at his piano. His heart leaps into his throat on a sharp breath at the sight of her.

Kate's completely engrossed in the piano, her hair cascading over her shoulders, breezing forward and tickling her cheeks as she moves with the music. Richard Castle finds himself utterly captivated. He's mesmerized at the way the city lights cast a glow over her delicate features, which are set in an expression so deep and concentrating, he can't look away or move. He closes his eyes for a brief moment, remembering that magnificent smile that graced her beautiful face today. How much he wanted to reach out to her as well, to just touch her.

His eyes open at a particularly deep part of the song, and it's then he realizes that tears are streaming down his Kate's face. His heart clenches, and aches for her. He takes a step closer, softly and without sound, not that she would ever notice, and stands in front of the piano, laying a hand on the black surface. What he feels there is anything but extraordinary. The vibration seems to come from her very soul. It plucks every heart string.

Kate's reaching the end of the song, a string of softer notes, when she finishes, she drops her hands to her lap. She's just staring at the keys through misty eyes and a single tear rolls downwards to be caught by Castle. She's not startled to find him there, but more so by the intimate gesture of wiping her tears away. He's kneeling down in front of her bench. She wont look at him as she sniffles. He places both hands on her knees and turns her around to face him. Kate's chin touches her chest and she closes her eyes at the feel of both his hands now cupping her face. It ignites every nerve in her body and a shaky breath escapes through her slightly parted lips.

It's silent now, aside from the ghostly echos of her music, and the pounding of her own heart. Can he hear her? Can he hear what his touch and his looks do to her heart and soul every day? Can he feel the flush in her cheeks and the small quiver of her skin as she shakes with unspoken emotions? He must. Surely he must know all these things.

Kate looks at him then, seeing the moister in his glorious blue eyes. He knows. But does she? She wants him to know everything. All that she is doing so she can dive in with him. Give herself completely to him. But she hasn't known how. Until now she hasn't ever known what true love felt like. But looking into the eyes of the man she's incandescently in love with, she's feeling it now, with every fiber of her being. With this knew found knowledge, Kate leans forward, and captures his lips with hers.

**How was that? **

**I was listening to an interview with Stana today, She was talking about some of the songs that have touched her...and this one? Just..wow. I think I have listened to it more then a dozen times and every time it gets me. **

**Plus I learned that she knows how to play. So In light of last episode, and that fact that Castle has a piano. I used both pieces to my advantage. I hope you liked it, and I hope you listened to the song while you read. It's truly amazing.**

**The song is called Gnossienne No. 1 by Erik Satie  
><strong>

**This is the interview: h t t p : / w w w . k c r w . c o m / m e d i a - p l a y e r / m e d i a P l a y e r 2 . h t m l ? t y p e = a u d i o & i d = g d 1 1 1 1 0 2 s t a n a _ k a t i c  
><strong>


	13. The Secret to Victoria Secret

**Got this idea from Jane Daisy.**

**Maybe Slightly rated M for talk (and thoughts)**

_**The secret to Victoria Secret.**_

** K**ate stands outside Victoria Secret with her good friend Lanie Parish. She's eying the store with apprehension while the ME looks through at the lingerie with a leer and a mischievous glow about her. Kate crosses her arms, standing straighter and lets out a sigh.

"Meet me in there? I really need to use the little girls room." Lanie says bouncing a little on her heels.

"Come on Lanie, I don't need to go in there." Kate whines. And she doesn't. She hasn't needed to get anything sexy for a while now, and she hardly did for Josh.

Lanie places a hand on her hip and tilts her head to one side in the threatening way of hers. "Trust me Girl, you do." With that she walks off through the mall in search of the restrooms.

Kate rolls her eyes dropping her hands to her sides and walks into the store. The strong smell of perfume she swears is only 5% chemicals and 95% _pheromones, assaults her senses and she rolls her eyes and looks about the busy store, s_he finds herself surrounded by expensive panties and bras. There is no way she can afford this on a cops salary, but she soon migrates towards a rack of bras out of pure feminine curiosity... She takes the cup of one fancy looking bra between two fingers and frowns. She inconspicuously looks down at her own chest and then back at the bra. For one thing there is too much padding, she doesn't want to look fake... and second of all, she would never spend that much money on something only she is going to look at. She makes a pathetic sound out of her mouth and flings her hands away from the bra, looking around her.

Her eyes catches on shelf full of silk panties. She heads over there and reaches her fingers out tentatively and feels the fabric. She almost melts at the feeling of it. And then she spots a sale. 4 pairs of any style of $28. She can swing that. She wanders over and starts looking through the styles and colors. She hums softly to herself when she finds a pair of various hiphuggers. She can't deny her attraction to them. One pair catches her eye in particular. She picks them up, black rose lace. Her eyes shoot upwards out of habit and she imagines herself wearing them with a black bra. She's not going to lie...they would look sexy, she keeps herself in great shape so panties like these would just compliment her figure.

If only she had good reason to wear them...more like, a good reason to have them removed. She bites her bottom lip when a certain author by the name of Richard Castle flutters into her mind. Something she has not been able to help for almost three years now. She works her lip between her teeth at the idea of him seeing her in barely anything it all. Her pulse quickens at just the thought of him removing every article of clothing until shes only wearing these panties and her black lacy bra... the expression of lust and hunger in his eyes as he looks her up and down...And then her eyes fall on him. He's standing in the entrance to the PINK part of the store. For a moment she thinks she's only imagining it, but nope. He's really there, and he's spotted her.

Shit.

She watches in a blind panic as his eyebrows raise in that way of his and he walks confidently into the store. This cocky almost too comfortable air about him. He's almost to her and she's frozen in place clutching the hiphuggers in both hands with white knuckles.

"Beckett." He says in a surprised tone, his eyes migrating over her from her hair that hangs loosely about her shoulders to the very intimate under garment bunched in her hands.

Kate swallows hard and hides the undies behind her back for some reason. "Castle." She replies with a shocking amount of levity. "What are you doing here?" She then adds in an accusatory tone, one often used in interrogations. She does not dare to look at the underwear and lingerie around her, so she's forced to look into those eyes that distract her every single day.

"In here? Or at the mall." He asks innocently.

She gives him a pointed look.

"Ah, well Alexis has been upset about her breakup with Ashley...so I thought I'd search the mall and get her something to cheer her up." He says absently fiddling with a pair of panties. "And then I saw you here." He raises an eyebrow.

Kate's eyes dart to his fingers that work the soft fabric, she can't help but feel aroused and slightly uncomfortable at the same time. She swallows again, almost audibly when her eyes briefly close and she pictures his fingers on the panties in her hands, only attached to her body. "Oh." She almost gasps. "How is she?" She says stronger now although she feels the flush rising in her cheeks.

Castle smirks at her, as if he knows the inner workings of her mind. "She's tough, she'll get through this." He sounds so sure, it warms her heart.

Someone snatches the panties from behind her back and holds them up in front of their own face. Lanie. "Oh these are sexy." She says in a sing song voice, and then she spots Castle. Her brows shoot up and she hands the panties to Kate with a leer. "Castle." She says appraising him.

"He's here getting something for Alexis...I..I mean..at the mall..not in. Victoria..secret." She almost whispers that last part and turns away from the two to pick out her other three pairs, not daring to meet Castle's eyes now.

She thinks she hears him chuckle. "So what are you lovely ladies doing on this fine day?" He asks instead, taking his hands from the underwear and looking around him.

"Oh you know, top secret girl things." Lanie says nudging Kate and eying the writer with a evil smirk.

"Oh is that so?" He asks mirroring the grin. "Getting something to entice Esposito back are we?" He asks but his eyes are on Kate as she picks up a pair of pink lace and thinks better of it. Her eyes meet his over her shoulder and he shakes his head subtly. Pretty much saying Pink is not her.

She can't help the jolt in her chest and abdomen at his suggestion, and softly places them back. "Oh you know it, baby." Lanie says. "Speaking of which." She looks between the two knowingly. "I'm going to go check out the brasseries." And with that she strolls off, leaving Kate feeling tingly all over and very aware of the look in Castle's eyes.

Complete silence. Kate's not sure if she just wants him to leave, or keep letting him undress her with his eyes as she picks out intimates. Because she knows that is exactly what he is doing. Only her secret is...she finds that _Sexy_. As. **Hell**. She can't help but want him to keep doing it. She finds herself calmer, looking at her hands while the rifle through the various shades and patterns. Her eyes slowly work their way to his face, eyes smoldering as she takes him in. He's leaning against the display, not even trying to hide his silent approval. Kate's hands lift the pair she's seemingly fallen in love with, and dangles it over her index finger at him, as if asking him if he likes them.

Holy shit what as gotten into her?

Castle's eyes grow wide and his mouth falls open. Just as he's about to say something his phone rings. His face falls considerably and he puts up a finger to tell her he'll be with her in a minute. He turns his back to her and answers his phone. Kate shakes herself and sighs. What the hell was she doing?

_Jesus Kate._ She curses herself. She collects her four pairs and then looks back at Castle before walking off to pay. Afterwords she runs into Lanie who also has a bag and the two walk to the entrance finding Castle who's just putting his phone into his jacket pocket. Lanie stands next to Kate, looking back and forth between Castle and Beckett, seeing the after affect of eye sex and wonders to herself what went on while she was off picking out sexy bras.

"That was Gina...apparently I am supposed to be in a meeting." He says with a groan.

"Well see you later then Castle." Lanie says smiling her ass off.

"Always a pleasure Dr. Parish." He replies with a slight bow. "**B**eck_ett._" He says in a more husky perhaps, intimate tone before nodding his head at her and leaving the two alone to shop.

Kate smacks her forehead and Lanie just laughs.

* * *

><p>Kate slips on a pair of dark blue jeans over her brand new pair of black rose lace hiphuggers. Victoria certainly has a secret, but it's nothing the women who worship that store don't already know. And it's how a pair of lace panties can make a woman feel, while also being completely alluring to whoever the wearer wants to lure. And these? Oh yes, they would do the trick nicely.<p>

Kate runs her thumb along the waist band, letting them snap against her skin pleasantly, she marvels at the feel of them. How well they fit and how great she feels and looks in them. She bites her lip, eying what little shows over her tight pants and then throws a shirt on, covering them. She gets this sort of gleam in her eyes and shuts her locker door before heading to the bullpen.

She steps out of the elevator a few minutes later seeing Castle's jacket hanging over his chair and assumes he's in the break room. Once in there she spots him at the espresso machine already making a cup. That all to familiar jolt enters her chest followed by a warmth in her abdomen. She's just walked into a room now rapidly filling with sexual tension. Kate takes in a deep breath, rising her shoulders and letting the air out loud enough to catch his attention. She looks down and a hand unconsciously goes to her hair hanging by her ear, twirling a finger in it. She's feeling rather timid since Castle found her in Victoria Secret yesterday, and part of her hopes he doesn't bring it up. But the look in his eyes say otherwise. She shivers at the soft caress those eyes seem to be giving her entire body.

"Hey Beckett." He says turning to her while he adds the finishing touches to a cup of coffee.

"Hey." She answers, her voice low. She can't seem to help it. Her mind as been..._else_where since yesterday.

"Comfortable?" He asks with a serious face, turning to her with the cup to his lips.

"Excuse me?" She asks, placing a hand on one hip eyebrow raised. She frowns at the fact that he seems to have forgotten about her coffee as he drinks his.

"I said." He takes a sip and lowers it. "Are you comfortable?"

One brow furrows and she looks at him in disbelief. "Yes?" She replies in a tone that clearly says she's trying to catch his double meaning.

"Good." He gives her a little nod and leans on the counter taking another sip. "I mean. I would hate for you to be uncomfortable." She follows the cup as it goes to his lips and back down again. Only her eyes stay on his lips for a moment too long.

"Thanks?" She says. And then shakes her head. "What are you talking about?"

"Well not all those garments look comfortable." He states quite at ease in this awkward conversation. "Some of them look like they creep up your ass, you know? I mean, why would anyone buy them? _I_ certainly don't find them appealing." He raises an eyebrow as if trying to make a point.

She shifts her weight to the other foot and wraps an arm around her abdomen, her fingers playing with her panties that peek over the waistband of her jeans. An idea forms. She throws him such a look with her mouth half open. "Is that some weird come on?" She asks.

"I'm just saying." He raises one hand in mock surrender.

She gives him a playful smile, uncrossing her arm as she saunters up to him, her hand on his shoulder and her lips at his ear. She blows her hot breath from those lips and says in her dubbed "bedroom voice."

"Oh, they are very comfortable." She turns her head slowly away from him, brushing her hair across his cheek and starts to walk away, She looks over her shoulder, letting out a fake yawn and stretching her arms up over her head. This little action lifts her shirt just enough to give him quite a peek at what she's wearing under those tight jeans. She sees his eyes drift there, obviously her exposed skin catching his attention first. She brings her arms back down with a knowing smile.

"Thanks for the coffee." She says, taking the cup from him. Kate puts an extra swing in her hips as she rounds the corner. She watches for Castle's reaction and lets out a laugh when his fist goes to his mouth.

* * *

><p><strong> Haha! Thoughts?<strong>

** Oh and If you haven't yet. PLEASE go the the previous chapter and read it, it's one of my favorites. And then! Click the blue "Review this Chapter" button for both. See it's just riiiight down there. It's so _easy_ to press, just like Castle :P**

**And of course my in progress full story _The Head and the Heart._  
><strong>


	14. Birthday Suit

**IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!**

_**Birthday Suit**_

Kate Beckett walks into the 12th precinct with a slump in her shoulders and a crick in her neck. She lets out a soft groan as one hand tries to work out the stiff muscle. She steps into the elevator, leaning back against the wall with a yawn. She didn't get much sleep last night...So today she's hopeful for a quick and quiet work day, seeing as it's her Birthday and she rather not witness a horrific crime. Not that she cares much for her birthday...it hasn't been all that important to her since her mothers death. She rather just forget about this day and move on.

Kate notices them all right away when she steps out of the elevator. Everyone in the bullpen has stopped what they are doing, and are all looking at her. Some whisper. She gives them all a curious look and then flops into her chair with a huff. Letting out a soft yawn, Kate boots up her computer and finally settles back to look around. She gives a few of them a nasty glare, and they rush off almost banging into each other. It's just her birthday. They have never made a fuss of it before.

But then, oh no.

The lights dim and Castle comes out of the break room wheeling a giant birthday cake. Big candles shaped like the number 32 rest in the center, and they glow with a flickering flame casting a handsome shadow over Castle's face. On his cue, everyone starts to sing. Normally she would be mad, but the look on Castle's face as he gets closer melts her, and she hides her face in her hands embarrassed. At the end of the song Castle walks around the cake, taking Kate's chair by the arm rests and wheels her towards it since she refuses to budge. This action makes his body come very close to hers. She peeks over her hands into those marvelous blue eyes of his.

"Make a wish." He says softly, now at her ear. He's taken up a new position behind her chair, hand on the back of it as he leans forward. As if he wanted to get the exact view of the cake as she.

Kate shivers and looks over her shoulder at him. Not realizing how close he actually is their noses brush. It takes everything in her not to lean in farther and capture his lips with hers. He winks at her as if he knows her inner desires. She blushes, turning away from him and leaning towards the lit candles. She knows exactly what she'll wish for. With a huge smile and a soft nibble to her bottom lip, Kate glances at Castle one more time before blowing out the candles. Everyone claps and rushes in for the cake when someone wheels it away from her. She shakes her head at all their eagerness for Cake, and then sits back in her chair, her shoulders brushing Castle's hands that still rest there.

"Happy Birthday, Kate." He says leaning down and placing a lingering kiss to her cheek.

Her cheeks flush profusely. "Thanks, Castle." She replies in a low deep voice, feeling very in the moment.

"Always." He says with a smile, going to sit in his own chair. They stare at one another for several long moments. Just taking each other in. "So what did you wish for?" Castle asks excitedly.

Moment gone.

Kate rolls her eyes. "I can't tell you or it wont come true." She says with a gleam in her eye but she's actually quite serious. "You of all people should know that." She then says tilting her head to one side.

Castle looks at her with shock. "My my my." He says leaning his elbow on the desk and placing his chin in his hand.

"What?" She also leans in.

"Sounds to me." He pauses for affect, looking upwards and tapping his lip with one finger adorably. "Like a certain someone." He points at her with his finger. "is starting to believe in...something I call...magic?" His eyebrows raise in that unbelievably cute way of his.

Their faces are very close now. She can feel his hot breath on her face, smell the coffee he's been drinking mixed with something purely Richard Castle. The second shiver in the last 20 minutes spreads throughout her body.

Her eyes dart to his lips. She speaks, softly in her bedroom voice. "Maybe." She breathes.

"Yo Beckett! Castle!" Esposito and Ryan walk up, both holding cake.

Ryan stops short seeing the position the two seem to be in and raises an eyebrow with a nod to his partner. "Oh..were we interrupting something?" He asks innocently.

"No." Castle leans back in his chair.

Kate turns her head now in her hand towards the other two detectives, "Maybe."

Castle shoots her a curious look and then the boys smirk at each other. "So..." Esposito starts licking frosting off his top lip.

"Are we still on for the Old Haunt for Your birthday?" Ryan finishes looking at Kate first, and then castle Who is still apparently thrown by Kate's "maybe." "Jenny's excited." He then adds.

"Yes of course." Castle says to Ryan, and then looks at Kate questioningly, leaning on the desk again. "That is. If we make it after our family dinner with Mother and Alexis?" He asks her.

Family dinner...The fact the he seemed to have included her in that phrase without pause makes her heart leap, and a sentimental lump form in her throat. She's too choked up to answer so she merely purses her lips and nods with misty eyes.

"Awesome." Esposito says nudging Ryan. The two go to their desks with their cake.

"Great!" Castle stands up "I'll go home and see what I am going to prepare tonight." He says excitedly.

Kate gets up as well, wanting coffee anyway. So she follows Castle to the elevator. She leans against the wall as they wait. "What do I need to wear?" She asks finally getting a grip.

Castle turns towards her. "Mother likes to go all out and dress up...but you don't have to if you don't want to, it's Your birthday." He says,

"No, no. Sounds good..." She bites her lip trying to think of what would be the perfect outfit.

The elevator dings and Castle steps inside with a smirk. Just before the doors close he pokes his head out with an eye waggle. "You can always come in your Birthday suit."

* * *

><p><strong>not much to it, just thought it would be cute.<strong>

**Thoughts?**


	15. Bubbly

_**M rated for what I am about to do with the song Bubbly by Colbie Cailat**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Bubbly<strong>_

Castle and Beckett are in the car on the way back from a crime scene. Unfortunately for Kate, they are currently stuck in traffic twenty minutes from the 12th precinct, and Castle is starting to get bored. At the moment he sits fidgeting in the passenger seat, constantly adjusting himself and making faces. She's positive it's about the little spring in his seat, and she can see that he's struggling to keep his mouth shut about it. After a little while of trying to ignore him she snaps.

"Castle!"

He stiffens looking over at her and pouts. "Sorry...it's just..sorry."

"Sit on my sweatshirt okay?" She reaches an arm behind her seat without looking back and throws it in his face, "and listen to the radio if your that bored." She flicks it on, gives him a sideways glance as he folds her sweater under his butt, and then smirks at the look of relief that floods his face.

"Much better." He says leaning back.

Kate sighs, creeping forward a fraction in this horrific traffic, and loosens her grip on the steering wheel. All is quiet as the song changes on the radio.

"Ah ha!" Castle yells pointing at the radio as a new song,_ Bubbly_ begins to play.

Kate jumps. "What?"

"This song!" His eyes light up and he keeps pointing as if there is something to see.

Kate frowns and then looks at the radio curiously. She actually likes this song. "What about it?"

"Let me just tell you,." He starts dropping his hand. "After I paid strict attention to the lyrics, I saw it in a whole new light." He says with a raised eyebrow, looking at Kate as she mouths the words and then stops.

"Only _you_ would. I happen to like the song so don't ruin it for me." She says starting to sing it softly, surprised she's not embarrassed to be singing in front of Castle.

Castle watches her sing, this unmistakeable grin on his face like he's about to ruin it for her. Then his face softens, watching her lips move and marveling at the beautiful voice that filters through said lips. The lips he would just love to kiss whenever he feels like it, which is often.

"You don't get it?" He asks after a it's over.

"Am I supposed to?" She asks. "It's innocent." She than says creeping up for the second time in 10 minutes. She sighs leaning forward more to get a better look at the traffic. She has a feeling they still have a while.

"Ohh no it's not." He says whipping out his phone and taking a hook up from her glove box to plug it into her car. She looks at him in shock not knowing it was in there. "I got this after the last time we had a long trip during a case. Figured we could listen to our own music next time." He says plugging his phone in and searching for something.

"Good idea." She says looking at him and only glancing at the car in front of her, it still hasn't moved.

The song filters through the car speakers again. "Okay, now listen." He stares at her while she cranes her ears with lips partially open, listening.

_I've been awake for a while now  
>You've got me feelin' like a child now<br>'Cause every time I see your bubbly face  
>I get the tingles in a silly place <em>

"No Castle." She says shaking her head.

He pauses the song. "I get the tingles in a silly place?" He asks.

"Yeaaa?" Her brow creases and she turns towards him. "You know, that good feeling you get when you have feelings for somebody." She points out, as if it's the most innocent thing. "What? have you never felt that before Castle?" She jabs at him with a smirk looking at the road briefly.

"Of course..all the t... of course I have!" He stutters and frowns. "Okay you have to get it at the chorus." He presses play.

_And it starts in my toes  
>And I crinkle my nose<em>

"huh?" he points at the speakers nodding his head.

She shakes her head

_Wherever it goes  
>I always know<br>That you make me smile  
>Please stay for a while now<br>Just take your time  
>Wherever you go<em>

He pauses it and she laughs at the look on his face. "Come on Castle just tell me what I am supposed to be listening for." She laughs again and moves up an actual car length this time. Traffic is moving a little better.

"An Orgasm!" he says excitedly.

Her jaw drops and her hands come off the steering wheel. "What? No way Castle."

"Yes it is!" He plays it again.

_The rain is falling on my window pane  
>But we are hiding in a safer place<br>Under covers staying safe and warm  
>You give me feelings that I adore <em>

"Okay maybe not that part, but definitely the chorus and most of the song." He's saying pausing the song to look at her expression. She's gone silent in disbelief.

"It's so not Castle." She argues shaking her head.

"It so _is_ Beckett!"

"Prove it." She challenges.

"Fine. I'll break it down for you."

"Go for it."

"Fine," he says again and presses play.

_And it starts in my toes  
>And I crinkle my nose<em>

he only has to point and raise an eyebrow before she really gets it.

She opens her mouth in awe, snapping her attention to his face and then bites her lip.

_Wherever it goes  
>I always know<br>That you make me smile  
>Please stay for a while now<em>

_Just take your time  
>Wherever you go<em>

He goes to open his mouth at this last part but she silences him with a finger to his lips. "_Don't_. You don't need to explain that part. I get it." She's blushing and removes her finger from his lips slowly, leaning back in her seat and listening to the rest of the song while he smirks at her.

_But what am I gonna say  
>When you make me feel this way<br>I just mmmmm_

Her eyes grow wide and she purses her lips. Trying not to look at Castle. The rest of the song plays with the pair of them in silence. When it's over, Kate places her hands back on the steering wheel and chances a look at Castle who has this victorious expression on his face.

She shoves him. "That's just wrong. You ruined the whole song for me." She says shaking her head.

"I have heard far worse." He says and she raises an eyebrow at him. He just smirks back at her, his smile reaching his brilliant blues and she looses herself in them for a moment.

A car horn blares and they both jump. The traffic is finally thinning out and she's moving along now. Castle has turned the music off and Kate can feel the tension thickening even more. The thoughts of the song flowing through her mind.

"sorry." He says although he doesn't look it.

She looks over at him. "As long as you don't explain to me that one of my favorite songs, 'every breath you take' Is about a stalker."

Castle purses his lips mischievously and looks out the window.

* * *

><p><strong>Been thinking about doing this for a while, after my little brother of all people pointed this song out, and then proceeded to tell me that <em>Every breath you take<em> is about a stalker. Thoughts?**


	16. Echos

_**Echos**_

The cold metal feels unsure and wavering in her grasp. A fair contrast the the ice in her veins and the hard palpitations of her heart in her quivering chest. Her arms raise stiffly, and she takes aim. One eye closing as she tries to focus on her target. Her arms tremble of their own accord and she grits her teeth trying to stop the quakes forcing their way throughout her entire body along with the panic she fights everyday. She bites down hard on her lip to gain some sort of balance and lets off a few rounds; None of which connect anywhere close to her intended target.

She tastes blood as she lowers her arm, and releases her obviously too tight a hold on her lip. Setting her gun down after clicking on the safety, Kate sighs and brings a tentative finger up to her lips, drawing it back to indeed see crimson on her finger. Her mind flashes to the blood seeping into her gloved hand that day at the cemetery, and the scar seers with an imaginary pain, as if it remembers. Her hand shakes while the other goes to rest on her scar. Her eyes stare off at her target, still untouched, eyes unfocused as her body reacts with chills and an overwhelming need to get the hell out.

A gun fires somewhere down the range. Kate practically leaps out of her skin, gasping and slipping to the floor trying to gather her breaths that release from her lips and scatter about the small area. Another round goes off, her heart ascends into her throat and she grasps her knees to her chest, burying her head there.

_ Why?_

Why does she torture herself so? Why does she find herself here some nights, hands gripping tightly to her service piece and hardly ever able to even shoot it? Why is it that while on duty she has no problem, but the second she is alone with the one thing that should keep her steady, keep her safe? She is unable to connect with it?

Kate lets her head fall back against the wall, her hands digging into her knee caps as she tries to think of what the difference between now and work is. As she does so, another shot rings out, only this time she is privy to it. She barely blinks, her heart finally gaining it's normal beats per second. And then someone speaks somewhere down the range.

"Mr. Castle. Two nights in a row eh?" The keeper is saying.

Kate's heart quickens again and she shoots up from the floor.

Castle hums in response, the sound echoing throughout the area and into her skin, seeping right to the blood in her veins and making it's final destination to her heart where it pumps to the rest of her body. Her body reacts with tingles she's noticed she gets whenever he's in the vicinity...well she's always had them when implied to him, but since her shooting, they seem to course through her with more vigor.

"Your aim seems to be much better." The keeper remarks with a kind of envy.

Castle says nothing as he lets off a hand full of rounds in an act Kate knows all to well. He's letting off some steam. For reasons she is unaware of, because like her, he must hide most of this away. What she didn't know, was that instead of getting it out of his system with his writing, he sometimes comes here and lets his frustration out in the form a little bullets. Tiny pieces of metal that can do the worst damage to a persons body, including their mind and spirit. Even now, after all the gunshots she's ever heard, ones she's shot herself, the damage that single bullet did to her months ago will forever haunt her in the echos of every shot she'll hear from here on out. Sometimes she can even feel it, as if the bullet was never removed. She can feel the ghost of it, plugging a whole in her chest, feel the entirety of it as it burrows into her, not letting her forget.

She will never forget, and apparently neither will Castle.

Kate steps up to the counter, leaning over just enough to see Castle's arm, and his target. He seems very comfortable and familiar with the gun in his hand, it almost scares her. She can picture the look of determination on his face and she wonders what drives him. Surely there must be more to it. But somehow she knows it all chocks up to her. It's always been about her when it's come to the inner desires of Richard Castle. She's not blind, and she mirrors his sentiment. Yet she can't help but feel terrifyingly guilty. She's done something to him, why else would he be here instead of home with his mother and daughter, or writing? She's left her own mark on him...a scar on his heart that she can't erase...Can't do anything about...

But the longer she stands there, unseen, the more his gunshots becomes forced, angrier even, desperate, and her heart aches for him. Tears leap to her eyes at the remorse he seems to be feeling. She knows that feeling. Carries it around with her everyday. She wouldn't wish it on anyone.

There's silence.

Kate hears a long drawn out sigh mixed with an exasperated groan, and finds her legs carrying her out of her own booth, down the range and into his. She finds him staring at his target, which is definitely dead. The edges of the paper frayed, like her heart, and certainly his because that is the only thing he was aiming at. Castle does not notice her, didn't seem to hear the clicking of her heels on the tile floor.

From her angle, she can see his handsome features contorted into a face she has never seen before. It's stern, and taunt, eyes wrinkled in a deadly concentration, yet she thinks she can see a little moisture at the corner of those magnificent blue eyes of his. Her heart stops for a millisecond, and painfully starts back up again.

His arms are straight out in front of him, he's neglected to wear earphones, like the ones she has resting around her neck. Perhaps he wanted to hear every shot with clarity. Did it remind him of the one that nearly killed her? And if that is the case, why would he want to keep listening?

Kate watches as he stays still, but his body moves with ragged breaths, his hands starting to shake. He's so tense he shrugs his shoulders and rolls his head to loosen up, and then refocuses on the target that has really had enough of his attacks. But his hands wont stop shaking, he has to adjust his finger on the cold stern trigger a few times.

She can't take it anymore. She steps up slowly behind him. Touching his elbow to let him know she's there, and then slides her hand up his arm to his hands. He swallows hard, his face faltering, and he blinks a few times as she presses softly but firmly on his arm. They lower their arms at the same time, to the point where she's practically hugging him. Once his arm is down, she clicks the safety on for him, and he drops it into the bin in front of him.

Neither speak.

She doesn't move away either, instead, she takes a step forward until her body is flush with his back. She brings her other hand up to grasp the back of his shirt, and her head comes down to rest near his shoulder. They each take a breath at the same time, as if breathing together as one. Kate feels his body relax but he doesn't move. In the silence, they both hear the echos of the shot that almost took her life, both shuddering at the memory. She tightens her hold on him and lets out a hot breath against his back.

"I'm sorry." She says just loud enough for him to hear.

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><p><strong>I do not know where this came from...there is no set time or anything either. It just came to me out of nowhere.<strong>

**Thoughts?**


	17. Calls me Home

_**Calls me Home**_

Back in the day, when Kate was younger and too proud to admit that she was lost...her heart stop beating the way it should. Her breathing became strangled, forced but a necessity to keep going. But she wasn't really living. She was going through the motions, each day blurred into the next, not quite sure where her life was leading, only that the earth still turned, and lives all around her were still breathing on, moving on. But she wasn't. She was stuck in a place too far away, too deep to be even considered a normal life. She was unhappy, and miserable. Aware of this, and yet too comfortable in the life she thought she deserved. The life she thought she was supposed to be living.

She had nothing left in her, no sense of family, of home, of happiness. She was a shell of a woman, and no one could see it. She was an expert at hiding it. Hiding in the role of a detective. Diving into work and murders that she tried so desperately to solve, still unable to resolve the one she set out to put to rest in the beginning. The sole reason for this choice of life, and she couldn't do it. But she didn't give up. Eventually her work, her life melted into something she was unaware of. She became someone who did not feel, not the way a normal person should, but she found she didn't care. She didn't realize that she wasn't living. Yet she was always moving, afraid for that realization to hit her and drag her down. But she was already down. So low and in the darkness she couldn't see the light.

She couldn't see beyond her own inner pain. Couldn't move past her tragic life and learn to live despite these things. And no one was there to show her how. And she didn't let them. She thought she didn't need them. They weren't going to get passed these walls she built anyway, so way even try? What she didn't know, is that, those walls? They only existed because she fueled the fire that built the bricks. In her mindless attempt to keep herself safe from ever being hurt like her mother's death tore a hole in her heart. Kate Beckett fed the flames with hate, and misery. The longer this went on, the more the fire grew hotter, the perfect ingredient for melding. And the wall went up, brick by brick until it became this obstacle that not even she could climb over if she wanted too. Not only did it keep people out, it kept her locked on the other side. In a heart that didn't beat normally...in a body that only breathed in the necessary things to keep her barely alive.

And then one day, Kate Beckett came a cross a castle. With walls so sturdy it put hers to shame. She studied these walls, the inner workings and soon realized that there were other things to focus on. So she made it her mission to read the lines etched in the castles stone. She fell in love with what she saw there. She saw other lives living on in the wall. Other lives striving for the same things she was, and solving, finding justice. She buried herself in the ground at the foot of the castle and lived through it's story telling walls. Mesmerized by the stories she found there. And soon Kate got lost there as well. Lost in the world made up, because she couldn't bare to deal with her own. This story had happy endings, Where as hers? Went no where at all. So she stopped caring, putting all her emotions into this castle that could do nothing else for her then to riddle her with made up stories, ones that did not really exist, but it helped her... she thought.

Years went by for Kate.

Kate's world of work and this stubborn need to keep things the way they were, without change; Made her even more lost. This way of life made it so she became afraid of everything else. She was afraid of anything becoming different, because she didn't know any other way. All she knew were the murders she solved, and the stories she heard through the walls of the castle she kept close to her heart. Yes. This castle made it there. Made her heart beat just a little more normally, and her breathing became less strangled.

That is until she met the man who built the castle; and it's many walls she's become so found of.

At first sight, Kate felt as if she was being called home to her heart. She was both surprised and a little fearful of what he could illicit in her at just one glance with his stunningly blue eyes. Eyes so blue they covered the sky of the castle he built, a beautiful contrast to the walls close to her heart. She let herself, just for a fleeting moment, think about the possibilities of letting this living breathing human into her heart like the walls he unknowingly built for her. But she was too frightened so she reinforced her own walls, even hiding behind the ones he built himself, without giving him the knowledge that those ones where there as well.

Richard Castle saw right through Kate Beckett. He stepped right up to those walls of hers, and saw a mirage. An illusion she believes to be real. It was then and there that he decided to show her how to live. How to breathe again.

Little by little, Rick saw a slight change in her. Saw her fighting her own desire to keep herself held up and closed off. But eventually, not even she could deny the things he did to her, and at first she didn't notice. Didn't feel the miniscule chips he lay at her feet from the barriers around her heart.

It started with a cup of coffee, warm and inviting in her hand. And then escalated to playful banter, teasing innuendo, and flirting. All of which she let herself fall into easily. Because it was so easy to be like this with him. It was like nothing she has ever felt before with anyone. It took this one man, to make her realize that the life she's been blindly walking through has taken her down, and she didn't fight for it. For all he has done for her now, after a little over three years; she looks back on the years left behind with regret.

He's been slowly turning her around. The moment it happened for her. That one moment in time where all was clear to her, was when he kissed her. The earth held still, and she felt like she could breathe again...It was like coming home. This miraculous discovery found from warm flesh and a gentle embrace. It ignited this flame in her, one she could use to break down the wall instead of make it stronger.

Except of course, Kate did not know where to go from there. She's been forever stuck in one place. And any sort of disruption, any minor hit to the obstacle keeping her from living the life she truly desires, terrifies her. So she acted like it never happened, all the while breathing in the feeling of his lips on hers, and out the pain she so desperately wants to let go of.

It's after her own shooting, after the bullet enters her chest, that she sees the love in Richard Castles eyes. Her castle leaning over her offering her protection, telling her he's in love with her. And again, she acts like she doesn't hear him. But he stays. He stands tall beside her like he always has.

So much has happened since then. She still hears his confession echoing in her mind...thinks of that kiss whenever she sees him, feels the warmth of his touch in the coffee he still hands her without restraint, as if telling her with this one gesture, "here is my heart." She knows she has it. But she doesn't think she deserves it. She's too broken, and even though he's helped to mend her, she's not all there, and thinks he deserves someone who's well put together.

Sitting in therapy, Kate recalls her life up until now, most of which she regrets. That is until Richard Castle walks into it. And the only thing she can think of that she regrets with him, is not giving him a chance. That's why she's here. Because he deserves that chance, and she needs to be whole first. She looks forward to the moment where she can start again, She's already breathing, and being around him now? Well it's almost like coming home.

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><p><strong>I listened to "Calls me Home" by Shannon LaBrie over and over and over again as I wrote this. <strong>

**Thoughts?**


	18. Team Castle

**Another idea from Jane Daisy. I am still open to anyone's ideas as well.**

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><p><em><strong>Team Castle<strong>_

Kate watches at the corner of her eye as Castle smiles at his phone. A real genuine smile that she has come to realize, only appears when involving two people, Alexis, and herself, and Kate hasn't done anything in the last few minutes to warrant such a smile. She finds herself smiling herself and bites her lip when Castle looks over and catches her.

"How's Alexis?" She asks before he can question her first.

"Much better actually. She just texted me to say she's going out with some friends to see that new twilight movie." He scoffs at the word 'twilight." rolling his eyes upwards and leaning back in his chair.

"Not a fan?" Kate smirks.

"Are you kidding me?" He asks now leaning forward with the face that says she's about to be schooled. "For one, those are not real vampires. Sparkling in the sun? Come on!"

"I agree." Kate says, which momentarily stops Castle in his tracks. He rests his head in his palm listening. "I mean, for one, no one has really been able to write a decent vampire book since Anne Rice." She continues.

"Interview with a Vampire." Castle pipes in. "Exactly. Now it's either they sparkle, can walk in the daylight with rings, or just walk right into your house."

"Even Buffy did it right." Kate says now leaning in, very into this conversation. She watches as both of Castle's eyebrows shoot up. He apparently wasn't expecting her to bring Buffy the Vampire slayer into this. She smirks.

Castle shakes off the shock and goes with it. "Right. I mean, where is the old fashioned Vampire huh?" His head comes out of his palm and he's talking with his hands now. "The whole idea of being a "seeker of the night" is that you in fact only come out after dark, and you have to be invited into someones home."

"Right!" Kate says animatedly gesturing towards Castle with an open hand. "Where's the seduction?"

Castle almost jumps out of his seat he's so excited about this conversation, almost like building theory. "It's just not the same anymore."

"Your right." Kate finishes leaning back in her chair with a huge smile.

The two stare at each other, out of breath as if they just theorized back and forth about a case. "You were a diehard Anne Rice Fan weren't you?" Castle asks, with a narrowing of his eyes and a playful tone.

"Not as much as a Castle fan." She says teasingly.

"Seriously?" He asks completely hopeful.

"No." She rolls her eyes.

He falls back against his seat and glares at her for a moment until his phone vibrates. "She got in." He remarks.

"That's surprising." Kate says looking back at her neglected paperwork.

"She bought the tickets online in advance."

"Ah." More silence except for pen scratching on paper.

"So." Castle starts, looking over his phone at Kate mischievously.

"What. Castle?"

"Are you team Edward or team Jacob?" He asks knowingly.

Kate looks up from her paperwork, pen halfway to paper. "What?"

His grin grows wider. "Come on Beckett." He says resting his elbow on the desk. "Tell me you weren't a little curious?" He stares her down, eyes shining with mirth.

"About what?" She says although she knows and she's trying to hide it.

He waggles an eyebrow. "About the twilight movies...I bet you saw them."

"I take it you did." She says trying to turn this around.

"Alexis made me." He says now on the defensive.

"Suuuure she did, Castle." She turns back to her work. "How else would you know they sparkle?"

He says nothing, just glares.

Kate laughs, really laughs.

"Oh come on Kate. Who would you choose?" He pesters her further.

"Neither." She says honestly.

"Really? You wouldn't be with Edward, I mean you could be just like him, live forever."

Kate shakes her head. "I don't want to live forever." She says in all seriousness.

He doesn't seem all that surprised by this. "Okay, then be with Jacob, have your very own over sized puppy." He says with a small chuckle.

"I already have that." She says without hesitation, smirking at him from the corner of her eye.

"Ha ha very funny." He says crossing his arms and going silent.

After a while his quite pondering unnerves her and she can't help but look up.

"Okay, what about Team Rook?" He asks, although she cannot help but wonder if there is some sort of double entendre.

Kate thinks on that for a moment, and decides to answer with the truth. "I'm definitely Team Rook." She says with a smile.

Castle seems very pleased with that answer, smiling back at her and letting her do her paperwork. After a good minute or so Kate taps her pen over bottom lip. "hey." She says. Getting his attention.

Castle looks up from the notebook he's pulled out of her top drawer. "hmm?"

Kate fixes him with a teasing expression. "Isn't the _rook_ shaped like a Castle?"

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><p><strong> Just a little snippet..<strong>

**Thoughts?**

**And I must say I am disappointed in the lack of reviews for _Calls me home_. Come one guys...I didn't even really want to post this one. I am quite discouraged... so I don't know If I'll be posting another one shot, before or after my posting of _The head and the Heart_'s new chapter after Monday's new episode, Which I have to write. So..yea...this might be it for a while unless I feel motivated, and that is where you guys come in.**


	19. You Carry My heart

_I carry your heart with me_

There is a moment in everyone's life, where they are overcome with great clarity. An epiphany. When all the world around them stops spinning, momentarily, and everything slows, just for them. A way for your mind and spirit to catch up to what your heart has been trying so desperately to tell you... For Katharine Beckett...that moment is now.

_I am never without it_

The heart, in which she has coveted for these past few years, beats softly in the palm of her hand. She's had it, almost from the start. The strongest muscle in the human body. It pulsates, a rhythmic song, vibrating against her skin, and connecting with her own. But her own heart? It beats a little faster. Anxious and tired of waiting for her signal... for it still sits in her chest, behind the walls of her soul, of her fear, and pain. The solace she has never let herself feel. But now?

_I fear_

_no fate_

As her dark emerald eyes, flecked with golden brown, lay on the handsome face of Richard Castle, Kate realizes that love is not something you take for granted. Love is not something you feel, and yet hold inside you out of fear of getting hurt. That is almost inevitable. What is life, and love without risks? Risking our hearts is why we are alive. And if that is the case...what has she been doing? Love is everything. It is the air she breaths. Love is the ground she had always walked upon with a stride so light. Kate Beckett feared it would break beneath her every step. But now she wants more.

_I want_ _no world_ _and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant_

In this moment. She needs nothing else. Just the feel of his gaze, the lightest touch of his skin, the passionate kiss to her flesh. His words, his body, his soul...everything that is him, she needs, and wants.

_And whatever a sun will always sing is you_

Always.

_Here is the deepest secret nobody knows_

He has always held her heart. He has been the key to the lock of her soul. The light in the darkness. The shadow keeping her company when she's otherwise saddened in loneliness. And she has always fought against it. Afraid that her heart could not withstand the pressure of his loving gaze.

_and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart_

No longer. 

_I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)_

Kate turns towards him. Having been sitting silently in the bullpen. It's after hours. They are the only two left, and he has been sitting here patiently for her while she finishes up paper work...Patently for her to gather her courage and bare her soul to him. With a deep breath, and an expel of warm, sweet air through her nose, Kate leans back in her chair and regards him with a soft smile. Her heart leaps in her chest, knowingly. Eager and full of relief. He looks up, then. Sensing a change in her. He tilts his head to one side and smiles back. What she says next will forever keep that smile upon his face.

_ "_You carry my heart_."_

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><p><em><strong>Poem by e.e. cummings - i carry your heart with me <strong>_


	20. Entropy

_**Entropy**_

She wasn't sure what it was that drove her here. A need, I biological urge, or something more complex. Perhaps it was the pull of two human beings who knew no other way. Only for what their hearts had so strongly been telling them for so long, but they had otherwise ignored. For fear of...of what? The feelings invoked? The vulnerability of finally giving in? Or something much greater?

All she knows as she stands outside his door. Is that she can't fight it any longer. The pull is too great, and who is she to deny the music her heart strings so desperately want to play? It's been to silent, deep in her heart. Just the soft beating of loneliness, the quiet ebb and flow of the life she's been carelessly holding onto.

When the door opens, She's not all together ready for what she sees. She thought she was. But her resolve slips and she nearly turns back around. But it's her heart that gives her away. It flutters so strongly, the blood flows to her cheeks and her face betrays her inner most desires. She's halfway turned out the doorway before he catches her by the wrist. Yanking her inside and slamming the door behind her. Her back hits the cold wood, steady at her spine that is tingly all over with sensation all before he even touches her.

And even then, it's like torture. He's been waiting so long for her, it's as though he's unsure of where to start. He's got her back up against his door. His first instincts were to be quick about it. But now that he has the control, sees the rise and fall over her chest as she breaths shallowly. Now? He wants to savor this moment.

She has no other choice but to comply. She's breathless, speechless as he finally moves in. It starts with a single touch. But not any touch mind you. It's the steady rise of her shirt at her waist. If he's going to touch her, it's going to be flesh against hot flesh. There is no other way. And she knows.. that he knows it's the right and wrong move.

An audible gasp escapes her lips she's been so desperately trying to keep in a tight line. But the feel of his hand ghosting up her side under her shirt is too much. It's not long before she begins to tremble. He feels it. Feather light against his palm. So he uses one hand to press her further into the door, to steady her. Only, it makes it worse. The feel of his strong hand pressing down on her, along with his fingers scorching a path up her side. And then he's moving in. She closes her eyes at the warmth of his body closing in on her. The heat radiating off of him is so enticing, she has to take in a deep breath. But then her senses are overloaded. He smells so amazing, and his body is nearly pressed to hers, and now his mouth is open, breathing sweet hot breaths onto the nape of her neck.

Her hands are fisted at her sides, and they twitch when his tongue darts out, tasting her briefly. When he pulls back, he blows on the spot, making her flesh chill and rise with goose bumps. Her back arches off the door. She needs to be closer.

"shh." he breaths into her ear. Pressing her back against the door, but following the backwards motion and emphasizing what he wants with his own body. He's flush against her now.

Her heart sings, and she lets out a hum. The feel of her body vibrating against his, sending a shock wave through the both of them. And then she can't take it anymore. She needs to touch him. Rising her hand, she rests it on his stomach, fingers lightly digging into him as she ascends. He appears steady, calm. She can feel the erratic heart beats giving him away. The quick thump of his heart against her hand on the way up to his neck says otherwise. She smiles, biting down on her lip and looking into his eyes threw her eyelashes. His eyes close at the seductive look in her deep green, and he looks upwards, his neck exposed. She can see the rise and fall of his adams apple as he swallows. She licks her lips, hooking her arm around his neck.

She scratches him lightly, making his head drop back down so she can pull him in. And then there is no space left between them. Her lips meet his hungrily. Everything up until this moment doesn't matter anymore. In fact they use it all to their advantage. Sealing it away with the lock of their lips and the dueling of their tongues in a fast dance of long lost secrets, recent betrayal, and unspoken love.

She moans into his mouth when his hips grind into hers, causing her to bite down on his lower lip. He groans forcing himself closer. Their bodies meld as one. Skin so hot and on fire they are surprised their clothes don't ignite and singe off their bodies. Not that they will be staying on much longer. But for now, they revel in the touch, which eventually become less frenzied, a crescendo to smooth caresses and slow sway of two bodies dancing rhythmically together.

He breaks apart first, being the one who meant to start it. Or maybe it was her. She did show up at his door. Doesn't matter now that he can taste her on his tongue, feel her still trembling body hum against his fingertips.

She gathers her breaths. Each one coming out pleasantly strained. Her hands descend from around his neck, and rest on his chest as she slowly lifts her eyes to meet his. What she sees there is the unspoken word. Something they have mastered, and yet, she has a few on the tip of her tongue, along with the taste of him she has been longing to quench. She looks down. Watching her own fingers play with the top button of his navy blue dress shirt.

"I love you." She says, feathering her fingertips along his jaw and cupping his ear.

His eyes close, and he takes in a long deep breath. He exhales through his nose, the air tickling her face. He doesn't say anything at all. He doesn't need to. He's said it before, and he will certainly say it again. But for now. The two will bask in her ability to say it. What it means for them, and what comes after.

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><p><strong>Okay so... you can place this anywhere you want. It has no timeline.<strong>

**Review!**


	21. Somewhere in the Pantomime

_**Somewhere in the Pantomime**_

_My attachment to my words has become deadly._

He thought to himself. The words that once spilled forth, have corrupted the world around him. For once in his life, he wishes he had none. And now...and now that they have been said, he can never take them back. They hang in the air around them. A heavy reminder of what lays deep in his heart. She wasn't supposed to see them. Not the depth of his soul. Not the truth. Because the truth is just as deadly when the words spill out in a myriad of unhindered temptation. And once a piece had been broken off and savored.

He needed more.

The taste was bitter and addicting. Toxic to his system but once he had it, he needed to quench it wholeheartedly. And what did she do? She fed him more of it with her own deadly words. Words that she held in so long, that the wall could no longer withstand the force and utter need she had to get them out.

There are roles that we all must play. We may not understand them, we might not even get the script until the finale act, but we are cast, and the show must go on.

But where do we go when the last lines are spoken, and the curtain falls? Do we let the darkness behind the stage overpower us, take advantage of the adrenaline coursing through our veins, knock the wind that has already been panting from our charged bodies, and give in?

It's nothing but a pantomime.

But it wasn't was it? It wasn't exaggerated, and it wasn't just some show. A play on words or something they had rehearsed. It was raw and spontaneous. Forthcoming, maybe, in a sense. They both understood what was coming. But when they were forced to enter stage right, or was it left? They met somewhere in the middle and entered into the roles of two people on opposite sides of their hearts.

And when it was over, they were equally broken. Knowledgeable, but in the heat of the act, they lost the meaning. They forgot what it was they were trying to portray. The electricity, the anger that sprang forth from their individual scripts blinded them from the bigger picture. The metaphor written between the lines of their given roles.

And now. As they stand before each other, the crowd swept into stunned silence... the protagonist and antagonist, still both unsure which is which, stand off and wonder who had the better show. Whose deceit fooled the audience. Who struck the better claim. Who's side are they on?

Does it matter?

Because in the end they are still standing on either side of the stage. One will exit stage right, the other left. And both will be unsure of how the story really ends.

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><p><strong>Wrote this randomly a bit ago, thought I would repost it here to give it another chance. thoughts?<strong>


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